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Feeling so sad today
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 620680" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Thank you all. I did another, thorough search and they are definitely gone, along with a little watch pendant I don't actually think had any value, but looked like it might. Funny thing is my journey diamond necklace and a saphire bracelet I got from my husband are still there. They were probably worth more than the 70 year old quarter caret engagement ring with the ring wore so fine it wasn't really wearable anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, he denies it. Swears he didn't turn in any jewelry. I don't get why he lies about it. He has admitted so many things and didn't deny any of that stuff. But of course, the very first time we found something missing, he helped look for it. That was such a horrible day, he left home for a week at that time and when he came back he said he left because he just couldn't face us knowing it would never be right. There's been so many times he's shown remorse. Even yesterday he was "I don't know about the ring, but I'm sorry for everything else." Was it all an act?</p><p> </p><p>SuZir, funny you mention the TV series, because before this the thing with the most sentimental value to me was a season of a series that he and I used to watch together. It was the last thing he actually would do with us, until about age 16, every week he'd settle in on the couch and watch it with me; it was our thing.</p><p> </p><p>I told him last night, I'm just so tired of finding things missing. I just want a list of everything that's gone so I will stop being surprised! But half the stuff that went missing, he "didn't remember" taking it or when he admitted taking it but the pawn shop didn't have it or the store didn't refund it, he "didn't remember" what happened to it.</p><p> </p><p>Will he be coming home? I don't really plan on it. But I never planned on him turning out this way either so I better make plans, huh? His (our) car is coming home. He had the opportunity to earn that car twice. When he turned 16, we told him to get a job and pay for the insurance and we'd give him the car when he turned 18. Of course, he's never paid a penny. When he went to school we told him, get decent grades and pass your classes and when you graduate in two years we'll give you the car. It's an old car - a 2001 Escape - but it's 4 wheel drive and a V-6 and has all the bells and whistles that will make it a good trade in at least. Of course, he's failed and won't be graduating, so he hasn't and won't be earning it. I've warned him more than once that the car isn't his and when school is over it's coming home. We've gone so far as to tell him if he disappears with the car we'll report it stolen - and we will. I have to admit, I would just give him the car, tell him license and insurance is up to him and let him go. At least he'd have some place to sleep this summer. But his dad is adament and really, he's given so much because of me that I won't fight him on this. The car comes home.</p><p> </p><p>But will our son? Not unless he wants to live by some pretty strict rules. He'll be 19 and I don't have a problem with treating him like an adult - no curfew, etc. - but he <em>WILL </em>get a job; he will NOT smoke pot (or anything else) in my house (my husband and I are smokers and <em>WE</em> don't smoke indoors!) in fact, I'm thinking of requiring drug tests - that'd keep him out for sure - But if I thought he was just toking up at a weekend party once a month I really wouldn't care all that much. I honestly don't think pot is any more dangerous than alcohol. Not that I want him getting drunk either, but I did at his age, I partied my teenage hiney off in college. So if it was just that I wouldn't approve, but I wouldn't be a hypocrit and say "this is bad". But just like alcohol you can get hooked (at least psycologically) and I think that's happened here; it's not recreational, it's habitual. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, he's been told there is an actual physical list of rules (which there is) and if he starts making noise like he wants to come home, I'll email them to him.</p><p> </p><p>I guess, like everyone else, I don't know what the future holds.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 620680, member: 17309"] Thank you all. I did another, thorough search and they are definitely gone, along with a little watch pendant I don't actually think had any value, but looked like it might. Funny thing is my journey diamond necklace and a saphire bracelet I got from my husband are still there. They were probably worth more than the 70 year old quarter caret engagement ring with the ring wore so fine it wasn't really wearable anymore. Of course, he denies it. Swears he didn't turn in any jewelry. I don't get why he lies about it. He has admitted so many things and didn't deny any of that stuff. But of course, the very first time we found something missing, he helped look for it. That was such a horrible day, he left home for a week at that time and when he came back he said he left because he just couldn't face us knowing it would never be right. There's been so many times he's shown remorse. Even yesterday he was "I don't know about the ring, but I'm sorry for everything else." Was it all an act? SuZir, funny you mention the TV series, because before this the thing with the most sentimental value to me was a season of a series that he and I used to watch together. It was the last thing he actually would do with us, until about age 16, every week he'd settle in on the couch and watch it with me; it was our thing. I told him last night, I'm just so tired of finding things missing. I just want a list of everything that's gone so I will stop being surprised! But half the stuff that went missing, he "didn't remember" taking it or when he admitted taking it but the pawn shop didn't have it or the store didn't refund it, he "didn't remember" what happened to it. Will he be coming home? I don't really plan on it. But I never planned on him turning out this way either so I better make plans, huh? His (our) car is coming home. He had the opportunity to earn that car twice. When he turned 16, we told him to get a job and pay for the insurance and we'd give him the car when he turned 18. Of course, he's never paid a penny. When he went to school we told him, get decent grades and pass your classes and when you graduate in two years we'll give you the car. It's an old car - a 2001 Escape - but it's 4 wheel drive and a V-6 and has all the bells and whistles that will make it a good trade in at least. Of course, he's failed and won't be graduating, so he hasn't and won't be earning it. I've warned him more than once that the car isn't his and when school is over it's coming home. We've gone so far as to tell him if he disappears with the car we'll report it stolen - and we will. I have to admit, I would just give him the car, tell him license and insurance is up to him and let him go. At least he'd have some place to sleep this summer. But his dad is adament and really, he's given so much because of me that I won't fight him on this. The car comes home. But will our son? Not unless he wants to live by some pretty strict rules. He'll be 19 and I don't have a problem with treating him like an adult - no curfew, etc. - but he [I]WILL [/I]get a job; he will NOT smoke pot (or anything else) in my house (my husband and I are smokers and [I]WE[/I] don't smoke indoors!) in fact, I'm thinking of requiring drug tests - that'd keep him out for sure - But if I thought he was just toking up at a weekend party once a month I really wouldn't care all that much. I honestly don't think pot is any more dangerous than alcohol. Not that I want him getting drunk either, but I did at his age, I partied my teenage hiney off in college. So if it was just that I wouldn't approve, but I wouldn't be a hypocrit and say "this is bad". But just like alcohol you can get hooked (at least psycologically) and I think that's happened here; it's not recreational, it's habitual. Anyway, he's been told there is an actual physical list of rules (which there is) and if he starts making noise like he wants to come home, I'll email them to him. I guess, like everyone else, I don't know what the future holds. [/QUOTE]
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