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Feeling sorry for myself today
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 397228" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry you are down in the dumps. Holiday letdown can be a real bear, regardless of why it set in.</p><p> </p><p>This year you told them not to give you anything and they did it. Not a real surprise, but something to think about for next year. About 6-7 years ago I was literally DONE with all the gift shopping, including for my inlaws, when my mother in law decided they didn't want to do gifts for adults. If this had been done at Thanksgiving it would have been okay, but it was Dec 15. I said that I didn't mind not getting gifts but the kids had each purchased or made a gift for each family member, some of which we did as a family. So we did gifts. The next year the message went out earlier that we were doing homemade gifts. husband's sister and her husband blew that off and spent lavishly. Finally we were all in sync. The first year my inlaws were pretty upset with me, but the kids and I had spent HOURS and HOURS working on their gifts, and the kids were devastated at the idea. I finally had a chat with just mother in law (husband's stepmom, haven't seen his mom in 10 yrs come Feb) and she was able to understand.</p><p> </p><p>This year they followed your words and maybe didn't realize that a token from the heart would have been awesome. So at some point (or a couple of points) during 2011 it is time to be honest and up front with them. You may or may not want to let them know how it hurt this year to think that they didn't even bother to give you a small token. LEt them know that you do NOT want an expensive gift, but a small, inexpensive item or a gift they make for you would be a wonderful way for them to show you how much they love and appreciate you. in my opinion it will go a long way, because you will be treating them like the adults that they want to be. For some reason this does not occur to many men, though I know not why.</p><p> </p><p>You might consider what my side of the family has done for about the last 15 years or so. We put a price limit on gifts - usually $10, though one year we went up to $15. We keep our eyes open all year, go to garage sales, thrift stores, sales, etc... and the gifts have mostly been incredibly thoughtful. It is easy to spend a lot more than that, but to find something that the receipient will really enjoy that is priced under $10 is a challenge. One year I spent $20 for 6 gifts. I ran across a sale on adult sweatshirts in solid colors. Then I used acrylic paint mixed with fabric medium (sold right with the little 2 and 4 oz bottles of acrylic paints in craft sections/stores) and had the kids paint the bottoms of their feet and put footprints on the shirts. I painted "My Grandkids Walk All Over Me" on it. My dad and mom still wear those shirts a couple of times a month in the winter! There are all sorts of easy, fun things you can do in very little time. Once the shirts were washed, the longest part of the painting was washing off of 11 month old thank you's feet.</p><p> </p><p>This is just an idea, but one that might help your kids understand that it really isn't so much WHAT they get you but that they thought of you enough to get a small item you will truly enjoy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 397228, member: 1233"] I am sorry you are down in the dumps. Holiday letdown can be a real bear, regardless of why it set in. This year you told them not to give you anything and they did it. Not a real surprise, but something to think about for next year. About 6-7 years ago I was literally DONE with all the gift shopping, including for my inlaws, when my mother in law decided they didn't want to do gifts for adults. If this had been done at Thanksgiving it would have been okay, but it was Dec 15. I said that I didn't mind not getting gifts but the kids had each purchased or made a gift for each family member, some of which we did as a family. So we did gifts. The next year the message went out earlier that we were doing homemade gifts. husband's sister and her husband blew that off and spent lavishly. Finally we were all in sync. The first year my inlaws were pretty upset with me, but the kids and I had spent HOURS and HOURS working on their gifts, and the kids were devastated at the idea. I finally had a chat with just mother in law (husband's stepmom, haven't seen his mom in 10 yrs come Feb) and she was able to understand. This year they followed your words and maybe didn't realize that a token from the heart would have been awesome. So at some point (or a couple of points) during 2011 it is time to be honest and up front with them. You may or may not want to let them know how it hurt this year to think that they didn't even bother to give you a small token. LEt them know that you do NOT want an expensive gift, but a small, inexpensive item or a gift they make for you would be a wonderful way for them to show you how much they love and appreciate you. in my opinion it will go a long way, because you will be treating them like the adults that they want to be. For some reason this does not occur to many men, though I know not why. You might consider what my side of the family has done for about the last 15 years or so. We put a price limit on gifts - usually $10, though one year we went up to $15. We keep our eyes open all year, go to garage sales, thrift stores, sales, etc... and the gifts have mostly been incredibly thoughtful. It is easy to spend a lot more than that, but to find something that the receipient will really enjoy that is priced under $10 is a challenge. One year I spent $20 for 6 gifts. I ran across a sale on adult sweatshirts in solid colors. Then I used acrylic paint mixed with fabric medium (sold right with the little 2 and 4 oz bottles of acrylic paints in craft sections/stores) and had the kids paint the bottoms of their feet and put footprints on the shirts. I painted "My Grandkids Walk All Over Me" on it. My dad and mom still wear those shirts a couple of times a month in the winter! There are all sorts of easy, fun things you can do in very little time. Once the shirts were washed, the longest part of the painting was washing off of 11 month old thank you's feet. This is just an idea, but one that might help your kids understand that it really isn't so much WHAT they get you but that they thought of you enough to get a small item you will truly enjoy. [/QUOTE]
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