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Feeling strong-armed by your loved one?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 409006" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>Fantastic posts. They are all helpful in their own way.</p><p></p><p>For us, we have a daughter. She can be violent. I've seen it. I don't fear her physically, honestly. Unless she were on some sort of wonder drug that made her think she was invincible, or if she had a weapon. I fear the consequences of a physical encounter. The consequences if she ever laid a hand on my mother and my father defended her. Would my father be sent to jail? </p><p></p><p>My daughter was introduced to the system via a domestic dispute. She was high, she was out of control, she hit my husband. The police took her and she was charged as an adult. </p><p></p><p>She hasn't laid a hand on me. I can see her desperately controlling herself from that, but she will get her hands up at my husband. And she will destroy property. The day I found her stealing here, when I kicked her out, she assaulted me verbally, and then put her hand through the door. But she didn't touch me. I worry if she did, mainly because I worry I would come out ahead and where would that leave me with my own children if I was charged? I think I would have the sense to simply contain her and have someone else call the police (if I weren't alone). But what if we were? It sounds silly, but these are the things you have to think about sometimes with kids like this.</p><p></p><p>My "fears" with my daughter are primarily that the rest of the children would have to suffer her maniacal outbursts. They have years ago, but I think they have somewhat healed from that. The problem is -- for me, too -- re-suffering them is almost worse. Once you've reached a state of healing, having to endure hurts/fears from the past like that is like slapping a sore wound, almost hurting it more. She is not welcome here to stay or to sleep. To visit, planned, fine. But she hasn't earned that back - and spitting at my mother gives her even less leverage to enter the house.</p><p></p><p>I am going to make some calls to see what my options are. I appreciate the suggestions of that for next time it happens. I need to have a back up plan. I think my kids would simply not let her in. They're pretty good at that. And one of them has a trigger finger for 911. The oldest, though, doesn't feel physically threatened by her, and so he's let her in before (a while ago) when we weren't home. That was the first time I suspected she had stolen from me. What a sneak she is.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if my daughter is a sociopath. My husband and I have had the discussion, though. Her ODD/depression/anxiety in combination with whatever she is pumping into her system on a regular basis have, yes, seriously elicited some of the behaviors of a sociopath. I hated it when my husband would bring that up because it made me quite sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 409006, member: 8620"] Fantastic posts. They are all helpful in their own way. For us, we have a daughter. She can be violent. I've seen it. I don't fear her physically, honestly. Unless she were on some sort of wonder drug that made her think she was invincible, or if she had a weapon. I fear the consequences of a physical encounter. The consequences if she ever laid a hand on my mother and my father defended her. Would my father be sent to jail? My daughter was introduced to the system via a domestic dispute. She was high, she was out of control, she hit my husband. The police took her and she was charged as an adult. She hasn't laid a hand on me. I can see her desperately controlling herself from that, but she will get her hands up at my husband. And she will destroy property. The day I found her stealing here, when I kicked her out, she assaulted me verbally, and then put her hand through the door. But she didn't touch me. I worry if she did, mainly because I worry I would come out ahead and where would that leave me with my own children if I was charged? I think I would have the sense to simply contain her and have someone else call the police (if I weren't alone). But what if we were? It sounds silly, but these are the things you have to think about sometimes with kids like this. My "fears" with my daughter are primarily that the rest of the children would have to suffer her maniacal outbursts. They have years ago, but I think they have somewhat healed from that. The problem is -- for me, too -- re-suffering them is almost worse. Once you've reached a state of healing, having to endure hurts/fears from the past like that is like slapping a sore wound, almost hurting it more. She is not welcome here to stay or to sleep. To visit, planned, fine. But she hasn't earned that back - and spitting at my mother gives her even less leverage to enter the house. I am going to make some calls to see what my options are. I appreciate the suggestions of that for next time it happens. I need to have a back up plan. I think my kids would simply not let her in. They're pretty good at that. And one of them has a trigger finger for 911. The oldest, though, doesn't feel physically threatened by her, and so he's let her in before (a while ago) when we weren't home. That was the first time I suspected she had stolen from me. What a sneak she is. I don't know if my daughter is a sociopath. My husband and I have had the discussion, though. Her ODD/depression/anxiety in combination with whatever she is pumping into her system on a regular basis have, yes, seriously elicited some of the behaviors of a sociopath. I hated it when my husband would bring that up because it made me quite sad. [/QUOTE]
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