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feeling very hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="CactusK" data-source="post: 372471"><p>Hi. My difficult child son, age 8 had appointment with psychiatrist yesterday. This is after Learning Disability (LD) testing where psychologist thought he had ADHD/ODD tendencies. (note: we did not do adhd testing; I was looking for help in making school choices and to find out if he really has dyslexia)</p><p></p><p>Our counselor was concerned about difficult child talking about death and dying, so I took him to psychiatrist for evaluation, also to see if she thought he would be helped by medications for attention. </p><p>Psychiatrist said he was OK but if he started talking about how he was going to do it, to go to the hospital. difficult child talks like this when he is bored.</p><p>She suggested counselling for his behavior, and sticker charts on fridge to improve one behavior at a time. Counseling she said we're probably looking at 6mos, either weekly or bi-weekly depending on how the counselor works, and it's fun for the kids as they do play therapy. She said the counseling was VERY important (I knew my husband would want to know) for his success in school and success in life.</p><p></p><p>Then we went home and difficult child had a tantrum (difficult child has had 3 tantrums in the last 3 days) Threw a cordless phone and hit me in the head. I have a goose egg and it still hurts. He also threw a rock at my back and hit me in the face2x with a nerf gun bullet.</p><p></p><p>THEN husband and I had counsellor appointment last night and I told him in the appointment about the tantrum. husband is upset that I took difficult child to the psychiatrist because he missed some school and I didn't learn anything. The counseling appointment was about us being consistent and working as a united front. husband almost always intervenes when I am trying to parent the kids- and did it again right after we got home from the appointment.</p><p></p><p>And all husband could talk about later was how things were bad in his life. I never got a supportive word after getting injured. I never heard "OMG, I am so sorry I've been tearing down your credibility with the kids! I'm going to start supporting you right now so we can turn this situation around."</p><p></p><p>The bottom line is that difficult child does have some Learning Disability (LD)'s but his behaviour issues are mostly caused by the mixed messages at home and husband contradicting me and undermining my authority. I know it and husband knows it and still does it.</p><p>We'll see what today brings but if husband goes off into his depression thing again I'm going to tell him off.</p><p>CactusK, 52</p><p>husband, 54</p><p>difficult child son, 8</p><p>easy child daughter, 5</p><p>both adopted as newborns</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CactusK, post: 372471"] Hi. My difficult child son, age 8 had appointment with psychiatrist yesterday. This is after Learning Disability (LD) testing where psychologist thought he had ADHD/ODD tendencies. (note: we did not do adhd testing; I was looking for help in making school choices and to find out if he really has dyslexia) Our counselor was concerned about difficult child talking about death and dying, so I took him to psychiatrist for evaluation, also to see if she thought he would be helped by medications for attention. Psychiatrist said he was OK but if he started talking about how he was going to do it, to go to the hospital. difficult child talks like this when he is bored. She suggested counselling for his behavior, and sticker charts on fridge to improve one behavior at a time. Counseling she said we're probably looking at 6mos, either weekly or bi-weekly depending on how the counselor works, and it's fun for the kids as they do play therapy. She said the counseling was VERY important (I knew my husband would want to know) for his success in school and success in life. Then we went home and difficult child had a tantrum (difficult child has had 3 tantrums in the last 3 days) Threw a cordless phone and hit me in the head. I have a goose egg and it still hurts. He also threw a rock at my back and hit me in the face2x with a nerf gun bullet. THEN husband and I had counsellor appointment last night and I told him in the appointment about the tantrum. husband is upset that I took difficult child to the psychiatrist because he missed some school and I didn't learn anything. The counseling appointment was about us being consistent and working as a united front. husband almost always intervenes when I am trying to parent the kids- and did it again right after we got home from the appointment. And all husband could talk about later was how things were bad in his life. I never got a supportive word after getting injured. I never heard "OMG, I am so sorry I've been tearing down your credibility with the kids! I'm going to start supporting you right now so we can turn this situation around." The bottom line is that difficult child does have some Learning Disability (LD)'s but his behaviour issues are mostly caused by the mixed messages at home and husband contradicting me and undermining my authority. I know it and husband knows it and still does it. We'll see what today brings but if husband goes off into his depression thing again I'm going to tell him off. CactusK, 52 husband, 54 difficult child son, 8 easy child daughter, 5 both adopted as newborns [/QUOTE]
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