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feeling very hopeless
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 372617" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Do you anything about the biological parents? Trust me, it's more nature than nurture (mom of four adopted kids here). If the bio. family has mental health issues, your child could have inherited them. If there was drug use or alcohol exposure in utero, that can cause A LOT of problems. Do you know if this was the case? I suggest neuropsychologist evaluations. These are psychologists with special training in the brain. They do extensive testing, not just the surface stuff. Our adopted kids are more complicated than our bio. kids (I have one of those too) because the genetic background is so important and sometimes we don't know it. And difficult children don't tend to respond to typical parenting methods. in my opinion, you should take it a step further than just trying to undo this with behavioral therapy...you should find a real expert to see what the children may have inherited from their birth relatives. Studies have shown that adopted k ids are more li ke their birth families than their adopted families and I agree!!!! It doesn't happen 100% of the time...some may be the child of a drug addict and never use drugs so their behavior is how the birth parent would have been clean...but genetics is always a big factor!! Never discount that this child is wired differently than you and hub and may be totally different and need a different parenting approach, especially if he was possibly exposed to drugs or ESPECIALLY alcohol pre-birth.</p><p>Welcome to the board and good luck, whatever you plan to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 372617, member: 1550"] Do you anything about the biological parents? Trust me, it's more nature than nurture (mom of four adopted kids here). If the bio. family has mental health issues, your child could have inherited them. If there was drug use or alcohol exposure in utero, that can cause A LOT of problems. Do you know if this was the case? I suggest neuropsychologist evaluations. These are psychologists with special training in the brain. They do extensive testing, not just the surface stuff. Our adopted kids are more complicated than our bio. kids (I have one of those too) because the genetic background is so important and sometimes we don't know it. And difficult children don't tend to respond to typical parenting methods. in my opinion, you should take it a step further than just trying to undo this with behavioral therapy...you should find a real expert to see what the children may have inherited from their birth relatives. Studies have shown that adopted k ids are more li ke their birth families than their adopted families and I agree!!!! It doesn't happen 100% of the time...some may be the child of a drug addict and never use drugs so their behavior is how the birth parent would have been clean...but genetics is always a big factor!! Never discount that this child is wired differently than you and hub and may be totally different and need a different parenting approach, especially if he was possibly exposed to drugs or ESPECIALLY alcohol pre-birth. Welcome to the board and good luck, whatever you plan to do. [/QUOTE]
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