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<blockquote data-quote="MissLulu" data-source="post: 758055" data-attributes="member: 24721"><p>Hello everyone, I'm having a better day today, so thought I would post while I'm not feeling so bad!</p><p></p><p>Nothing's changed (I'm not sure it ever will) but I feel a bit better in myself today.</p><p></p><p>[USER=15032]@RN0441[/USER] thank you for your kind words. Your son's story always gives me hope that better times are ahead.</p><p></p><p>[USER=24632]@louise2350[/USER] thank you for sharing your experience with your sister. I really appreciate your support</p><p></p><p>[USER=18958]@Copabanana[/USER], I completely understand the "Out of sight, out of mind" thing. In some ways I crave it. My son lives too close to me to be completely 'out of sight'. We live in a small town and he lives in a nearby town. Everyone here knows everyone else's business, which adds to my distress at times. When I'm feeling distressed about my son one of the things I wish is that he would move far away (or that I could!) Then I feel guilty. What sort of a mother wishes for her child to be far away from her? Sometimes I read Beta's posts and I wish I could be more like her. No matter what happens with her son she craves for him to be nearby, whereas I am the opposite.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I hope things settle with your son. It's such a rollercoaster we are on. We can work on ourselves, yes that's true and I know both you are I are doing our best in that regard. But it's so hard (for me at least) to completely detach from those children we nurtured and loved (love).</p><p></p><p>After all this time I'm still weighed down by fear and guilt. Still in the FOG somewhat. (The obligation part I'm better at. I don't feel that as strongly anymore.)</p><p></p><p>I think the violent incident I described earlier (the mother who was stabbed) disturbed me so much not because of what happened at the end (as dreadful as that was). It was more the outpouring of sympathy for that woman that made me crack. Not that she didn't deserve it - of course she did - but I wondered whether there was any sympathy or support for her in all the years she'd been dealing with this boy. Did her family, friends and community support her? Were there professionals involved? Did they try to help? Of course I don't know the answers to these questions, but in my imagination she was like me, struggling with a child who makes no sense to her, by and large without the support of others.</p><p></p><p>Of course, I do have support. I have my husband, who is wonderful. And I have all of you, who I am deeply grateful for.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MissLulu, post: 758055, member: 24721"] Hello everyone, I'm having a better day today, so thought I would post while I'm not feeling so bad! Nothing's changed (I'm not sure it ever will) but I feel a bit better in myself today. [USER=15032]@RN0441[/USER] thank you for your kind words. Your son's story always gives me hope that better times are ahead. [USER=24632]@louise2350[/USER] thank you for sharing your experience with your sister. I really appreciate your support [USER=18958]@Copabanana[/USER], I completely understand the "Out of sight, out of mind" thing. In some ways I crave it. My son lives too close to me to be completely 'out of sight'. We live in a small town and he lives in a nearby town. Everyone here knows everyone else's business, which adds to my distress at times. When I'm feeling distressed about my son one of the things I wish is that he would move far away (or that I could!) Then I feel guilty. What sort of a mother wishes for her child to be far away from her? Sometimes I read Beta's posts and I wish I could be more like her. No matter what happens with her son she craves for him to be nearby, whereas I am the opposite. Copa, I hope things settle with your son. It's such a rollercoaster we are on. We can work on ourselves, yes that's true and I know both you are I are doing our best in that regard. But it's so hard (for me at least) to completely detach from those children we nurtured and loved (love). After all this time I'm still weighed down by fear and guilt. Still in the FOG somewhat. (The obligation part I'm better at. I don't feel that as strongly anymore.) I think the violent incident I described earlier (the mother who was stabbed) disturbed me so much not because of what happened at the end (as dreadful as that was). It was more the outpouring of sympathy for that woman that made me crack. Not that she didn't deserve it - of course she did - but I wondered whether there was any sympathy or support for her in all the years she'd been dealing with this boy. Did her family, friends and community support her? Were there professionals involved? Did they try to help? Of course I don't know the answers to these questions, but in my imagination she was like me, struggling with a child who makes no sense to her, by and large without the support of others. Of course, I do have support. I have my husband, who is wonderful. And I have all of you, who I am deeply grateful for. [/QUOTE]
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