Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Feels so wrong
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 749946" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>On the job front, and how hard it is to watch them and to listen to them complain, yes, it is. It has only become better for me when I stopped knowing. Kay doesn't and won't work. She is, if you ask her, taking care of her son full time. Does she really go out of her way to take good care of him? I don't know. I do know she is stoned all the time. She doesn't keep that a secret. She brags about her healthy plant. That is hard to hear as is listening to her complain about her husband Lee's horrible paying jobs that he quits at random.</p><p>Mostly he works in pizza places and in other restaurants. Trust me, money is tight for them and now that we don't contribute, Lee's parents are the ones getting hit with requests. They are becoming broke and tired, like we did. They may stop pitching in soon which will scare me as they are helping Lee and Kay pay for their apartment. But we wont go back to helping. Little is left.</p><p></p><p>I am starting to radically accept my daughter's situation, giving her to God, and am starting to tell myself "ignorance is bliss." I don't want to know her situation. No longer do we talk or do I check her social media. Her life is not our responsibility anymore. We took responsibility for far too long. Jaden, my grandson, has young relatives on both sides of the family who will care for him if Kay and Lee become homeless, but nobody will take them in. They burned all their bridges and it is out of the question for my husband and me to house them.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps if you didn't listen to your son's possibly exaggerated tales of whoa and never looked at his social media or called around about him, you would find more peace. He is one person supporting one person. He has no wife and kids. Its not hard to support one person if you live a frugal life and don't spend extra money on yourself, especially not cigarettes, booze or drugs. If you do, that is your own fault.</p><p></p><p>I hope you are brave enough to do "ignorance is bliss." We don't hurt them by not keeping up with their news. I don't think my daughter tells the truth anyway. She exaggerates her sad stories to scare us.Your son may do this too. If you think he may do this, why even listen? My daughter also talks about her hardship on Facebook and sometimes somebody will ask if she needs help, meaning money. I think she exaggerates on Facebook too.</p><p></p><p>Detaching with love and accepting that my daughter is who she is without judging or excusing her has made a huge difference for us. We may actually retire happily and not spend all our time thinking about her. None of our worry, money or even love and emotional support has helped her, and she is very unkind to us. We are better off now.</p><p></p><p>Do go to Al Anon. We don't have many meetings here, but we go to those we can. It helps to feel we are not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 749946, member: 23706"] On the job front, and how hard it is to watch them and to listen to them complain, yes, it is. It has only become better for me when I stopped knowing. Kay doesn't and won't work. She is, if you ask her, taking care of her son full time. Does she really go out of her way to take good care of him? I don't know. I do know she is stoned all the time. She doesn't keep that a secret. She brags about her healthy plant. That is hard to hear as is listening to her complain about her husband Lee's horrible paying jobs that he quits at random. Mostly he works in pizza places and in other restaurants. Trust me, money is tight for them and now that we don't contribute, Lee's parents are the ones getting hit with requests. They are becoming broke and tired, like we did. They may stop pitching in soon which will scare me as they are helping Lee and Kay pay for their apartment. But we wont go back to helping. Little is left. I am starting to radically accept my daughter's situation, giving her to God, and am starting to tell myself "ignorance is bliss." I don't want to know her situation. No longer do we talk or do I check her social media. Her life is not our responsibility anymore. We took responsibility for far too long. Jaden, my grandson, has young relatives on both sides of the family who will care for him if Kay and Lee become homeless, but nobody will take them in. They burned all their bridges and it is out of the question for my husband and me to house them. Perhaps if you didn't listen to your son's possibly exaggerated tales of whoa and never looked at his social media or called around about him, you would find more peace. He is one person supporting one person. He has no wife and kids. Its not hard to support one person if you live a frugal life and don't spend extra money on yourself, especially not cigarettes, booze or drugs. If you do, that is your own fault. I hope you are brave enough to do "ignorance is bliss." We don't hurt them by not keeping up with their news. I don't think my daughter tells the truth anyway. She exaggerates her sad stories to scare us.Your son may do this too. If you think he may do this, why even listen? My daughter also talks about her hardship on Facebook and sometimes somebody will ask if she needs help, meaning money. I think she exaggerates on Facebook too. Detaching with love and accepting that my daughter is who she is without judging or excusing her has made a huge difference for us. We may actually retire happily and not spend all our time thinking about her. None of our worry, money or even love and emotional support has helped her, and she is very unkind to us. We are better off now. Do go to Al Anon. We don't have many meetings here, but we go to those we can. It helps to feel we are not alone. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Feels so wrong
Top