Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Fell off the Warrior Mom Wagon. I need help!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 533323" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>(blows whistle) LADIES LADIES LADIES....Okay first off - we're here to support each other - NOT tear each other down. NEUTRAL corners.....(and whomever wants my corner can have it) </p><p></p><p>First of all - there's a lot of things going on here - and EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE is making very valid points - albeit it seems we got a little side tracked at the llama farm with the spitting - but - lets see what we can get out of this - and move forward......(makes arms do that air stewardess thing forward ) </p><p></p><p>Dash - (you little minx you) - See how much fun a difficult child is even when she's not at home? lol </p><p></p><p>I think.......Janet and SLSH had some very valid points. At 21? Even if she's hypersexual (and by the way I think that's your get out of jail free card for snooping) in my humble opinion....because at what age do you turn her loose to manage that hypersexuality on her own? There are lots of adults. Who are that way - and either seek treatment or find a way to cope, or find sexual outlets. Even at 21? I don't think it's your job. I just think that you've been doing it for so long to protect her? It's become habit. Just like monitoring her FB page and the emails or whatever (I skimmed the posts here) And Daisy made the post that I agreed with the most. Either she's going to agree to do it all your way - or get out. The stress is wearing on you - and it's just counter productive to "baby sit" a 21 year old. It's too early to be her best friend. That's not what you are - and if you're having to set up things like curfew, no drinking, no drugs? You're still her Mom. The law is the law - is the law - Which brings me to why I agree with Susie*</p><p></p><p>She said when she was younger her parents laid down the law for her and her brother because they worked, and they paid for everything and they expected certain rules in the house to be followed. PERIOD. I agree 100%. This is exactly how I was raised. If my Mother said - BE in by 11:00 not a minute later - that's what she meant by God or you would have consequences and even at 15 I knew - NO EXCUSES. So by 16? I had a place of my own. I never went back. I had two full time jobs, and paid my own way. I did what I wanted, lived how I wanted, stayed up as late a I wanted, and had as many animals as I wanted. I didn't drink, and I didn't get high or screw around. But that's how I was raised. NOW........</p><p></p><p>Since life has many, many people in it - was that wrong? NO. Was the way that Janet or SLSH allow their boys to live wrong? Nope again. That's how THEY set the rules and that's how THEY choose to live. More open, more free, and a less constrictive life style. Matter of fact if I had died before Dude was 21? Janet would have raised Dude. I still have never met her. I just knew she'd take care of him and understand him. (shrug) BUT - in my home - He wasn't allowed to drink, do drugs, OR EVER EVER bring a woman home and he had a curfew. Im guessing he wished I would have died. lol. </p><p></p><p>All I can say - is that IT IS YOUR HOME. If you have rules? You have to have consequences. Period. If you have them - you have to stick to them. YSomeone said you don't have a roomie you have a daughter. THIS is very true. But whether it's a room mate or a 21 year old child - you can't control her life - you can ONLY control what she does under you roof, and if part of the deal is ' YOU CAN STAY OUT - as long as you call so you don't drive home drunk? And she's calling or texting? Then halleluijah because the calls that I've already seen to cut kids out of cars from prom nights here doa would make you sick - I wish they had called their parents. SO THAT in itself is commendable. That to me is being a responsible adult. If the deal was you are NEVER to stay out? Then she's breaking a rule - and three strikes your out? She needs to go - </p><p></p><p>I just think you both need to sit down - revamp what you can live with - amend some things - because it sounds like she's growing - and your adjusting - and if you can't adjust - then she needs to move. It's no biggie - your still a FANTASTIC warrior Mom - </p><p></p><p>Janet and Susie STILL love each other and need to kiss and make up - eventually </p><p></p><p>And I'm going to go study a billion things that I never knew I need to know ......and can't tell you or I'd have to kill you. </p><p></p><p>I LOVE YOU ALL.......and play nice damnit - you don't want me to come back here. I'm edgy and on my fourth pot of coffee, and the dog has the worst gas ever and we're stuck in the room together.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 533323, member: 4964"] (blows whistle) LADIES LADIES LADIES....Okay first off - we're here to support each other - NOT tear each other down. NEUTRAL corners.....(and whomever wants my corner can have it) First of all - there's a lot of things going on here - and EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE is making very valid points - albeit it seems we got a little side tracked at the llama farm with the spitting - but - lets see what we can get out of this - and move forward......(makes arms do that air stewardess thing forward ) Dash - (you little minx you) - See how much fun a difficult child is even when she's not at home? lol I think.......Janet and SLSH had some very valid points. At 21? Even if she's hypersexual (and by the way I think that's your get out of jail free card for snooping) in my humble opinion....because at what age do you turn her loose to manage that hypersexuality on her own? There are lots of adults. Who are that way - and either seek treatment or find a way to cope, or find sexual outlets. Even at 21? I don't think it's your job. I just think that you've been doing it for so long to protect her? It's become habit. Just like monitoring her FB page and the emails or whatever (I skimmed the posts here) And Daisy made the post that I agreed with the most. Either she's going to agree to do it all your way - or get out. The stress is wearing on you - and it's just counter productive to "baby sit" a 21 year old. It's too early to be her best friend. That's not what you are - and if you're having to set up things like curfew, no drinking, no drugs? You're still her Mom. The law is the law - is the law - Which brings me to why I agree with Susie* She said when she was younger her parents laid down the law for her and her brother because they worked, and they paid for everything and they expected certain rules in the house to be followed. PERIOD. I agree 100%. This is exactly how I was raised. If my Mother said - BE in by 11:00 not a minute later - that's what she meant by God or you would have consequences and even at 15 I knew - NO EXCUSES. So by 16? I had a place of my own. I never went back. I had two full time jobs, and paid my own way. I did what I wanted, lived how I wanted, stayed up as late a I wanted, and had as many animals as I wanted. I didn't drink, and I didn't get high or screw around. But that's how I was raised. NOW........ Since life has many, many people in it - was that wrong? NO. Was the way that Janet or SLSH allow their boys to live wrong? Nope again. That's how THEY set the rules and that's how THEY choose to live. More open, more free, and a less constrictive life style. Matter of fact if I had died before Dude was 21? Janet would have raised Dude. I still have never met her. I just knew she'd take care of him and understand him. (shrug) BUT - in my home - He wasn't allowed to drink, do drugs, OR EVER EVER bring a woman home and he had a curfew. Im guessing he wished I would have died. lol. All I can say - is that IT IS YOUR HOME. If you have rules? You have to have consequences. Period. If you have them - you have to stick to them. YSomeone said you don't have a roomie you have a daughter. THIS is very true. But whether it's a room mate or a 21 year old child - you can't control her life - you can ONLY control what she does under you roof, and if part of the deal is ' YOU CAN STAY OUT - as long as you call so you don't drive home drunk? And she's calling or texting? Then halleluijah because the calls that I've already seen to cut kids out of cars from prom nights here doa would make you sick - I wish they had called their parents. SO THAT in itself is commendable. That to me is being a responsible adult. If the deal was you are NEVER to stay out? Then she's breaking a rule - and three strikes your out? She needs to go - I just think you both need to sit down - revamp what you can live with - amend some things - because it sounds like she's growing - and your adjusting - and if you can't adjust - then she needs to move. It's no biggie - your still a FANTASTIC warrior Mom - Janet and Susie STILL love each other and need to kiss and make up - eventually And I'm going to go study a billion things that I never knew I need to know ......and can't tell you or I'd have to kill you. I LOVE YOU ALL.......and play nice damnit - you don't want me to come back here. I'm edgy and on my fourth pot of coffee, and the dog has the worst gas ever and we're stuck in the room together. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Fell off the Warrior Mom Wagon. I need help!!!
Top