Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Finally, I can vent to someone who will understand
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 670873" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi LostStep-Mom,</p><p>So glad you have found us. Sorry for your circumstances, this is a rough road to be on, many here, as you know, have been through similar situations. A huge theme rings true through all of the stories, the unbelievable heartache of the journey.</p><p></p><p>It sounds as if you folks are taking steps to give your step-son his wings. That is good. It takes a while of trial and error, before we realize our helping is not helping.</p><p></p><p>Yes, the hubs and I have been here, too. Trying, trying to help, but the unpredictable, outrageous behavior patterns of adult D c's wreak havoc on a household.</p><p></p><p></p><p>The roller coaster is horrendous. I remember avoiding going home, too. It is like an invasion has hit your house, it is no longer a place of security. Lost- this is unacceptable, you know. Your home is your castle.</p><p></p><p>So true. The article on detachment at the top of PE page is very, very helpful. Your stepson is young. Sometimes that keeps us wanting to help, but as someone who took way too long to detach, I feel it is better to do so, as soon as this type of behavior exhibits itself, to save your stepson and your family a ton of grief. It becomes a drama go round of crazy. The more you help, the deeper they decline, the more you help, the more they resent you for it. The disrespect becomes more blatant, as I am sure you have read, you begin to find things go missing. Lying, stealing, blame seeking, the list goes on. </p><p></p><p>Before you know it, you realize the most precious things have been stolen from you, time and peace of mind. No one, <em>no one</em>, is worth that loss.</p><p></p><p>True, very, very true. I miss my two d c's, not who they are now, who they <em><strong>were. </strong></em></p><p>I simply cannot have a relationship with them, too destructive for me.</p><p></p><p>Very solid advice. I have decided that by detaching from my two, I am helping them the most. At home, the destruction just continues, and we go down with them.</p><p></p><p>By detaching and focusing on building ourselves up, we are not being selfish. We are showing our children that self respect is so very important.</p><p></p><p>I hope you continue to share here, and reap the benefit of experience on this site. It has helped me tremendously.</p><p></p><p>Please take good care of yourself. </p><p></p><p>When our adult children make terrible choices and live in our homes, the focus is on them, trying to fix them. They have to want to fix themselves.</p><p></p><p>Take good care of yourself, LostStep-Mom, you have value, a future and a life of your own to live to the fullest.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 670873, member: 19522"] Hi LostStep-Mom, So glad you have found us. Sorry for your circumstances, this is a rough road to be on, many here, as you know, have been through similar situations. A huge theme rings true through all of the stories, the unbelievable heartache of the journey. It sounds as if you folks are taking steps to give your step-son his wings. That is good. It takes a while of trial and error, before we realize our helping is not helping. Yes, the hubs and I have been here, too. Trying, trying to help, but the unpredictable, outrageous behavior patterns of adult D c's wreak havoc on a household. The roller coaster is horrendous. I remember avoiding going home, too. It is like an invasion has hit your house, it is no longer a place of security. Lost- this is unacceptable, you know. Your home is your castle. So true. The article on detachment at the top of PE page is very, very helpful. Your stepson is young. Sometimes that keeps us wanting to help, but as someone who took way too long to detach, I feel it is better to do so, as soon as this type of behavior exhibits itself, to save your stepson and your family a ton of grief. It becomes a drama go round of crazy. The more you help, the deeper they decline, the more you help, the more they resent you for it. The disrespect becomes more blatant, as I am sure you have read, you begin to find things go missing. Lying, stealing, blame seeking, the list goes on. Before you know it, you realize the most precious things have been stolen from you, time and peace of mind. No one, [I]no one[/I], is worth that loss. True, very, very true. I miss my two d c's, not who they are now, who they [I][B]were. [/B][/I] I simply cannot have a relationship with them, too destructive for me. Very solid advice. I have decided that by detaching from my two, I am helping them the most. At home, the destruction just continues, and we go down with them. By detaching and focusing on building ourselves up, we are not being selfish. We are showing our children that self respect is so very important. I hope you continue to share here, and reap the benefit of experience on this site. It has helped me tremendously. Please take good care of yourself. When our adult children make terrible choices and live in our homes, the focus is on them, trying to fix them. They have to want to fix themselves. Take good care of yourself, LostStep-Mom, you have value, a future and a life of your own to live to the fullest. (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Finally, I can vent to someone who will understand
Top