Barbara -
You ask some very good questions. I think I know the answers to those - maybe not completely - but I hope you'll understand that I'm not comfortable talking about some things in such a public forum. That whole being vulnerable thing...I really don't do well with that.
Thank you for asking those questions, though. I hadn't thought of it that way. I'll need to do a lot of soul searching - dig deep. I am taking an antidepressant, but I'm thinking I may need to talk to someone again, too. To get this all sorted out.
Sometimes the defenses we put up that help us through a difficult time in our lives become a hurdle to overcome later. I think that might be where I'm at.
I'm truly touched by all of you - your compassion and thoughtfulness.
Thank you, ladies. 
