Oh sweetie.
It just does not feel fair, does it?
I so wish I had answers and solutions for you. I feel so helpless just typing words. I do like the analogy of looking at the back of the needlepoint.
I hear you asking "what about this, what about that, how can I do this, how will I do that." You are going to make yourself absolutely loony by projecting like that. Stay in the moment. One day at a time, one hour at a time if necessary.
I don't know how I will pay next month's rent. I have not a clue. I have zero income. I have faith that it will be OK. You have a relationship with God. So do I. I know that God will not let my daughter and me go hungry or without a roof over our heads. No, He does not send cash down the chimney, but I always get by somehow. Yes, there are days where Tink has to entertain herself because I am so tired that I have to nap. You know what? I'm sick. This is a learning lesson for her.
I too am a fixer. Or if I can't fix it, I at least want to understand it. There are a lot of things about me that I don't understand. There are a lot of things about Tink that I can't fix. What has helped me get through the days, truly, has been to turn things over to God. "I can't handle this, God. Can you?"
I did not mean for this to turn into a sermon. I just wanted to pass along what has worked for me. We are in similar situations (single mom, head of household, used to having the control, now watching the control slip away). When things get beyond my control, I let go and remember, I don't really control anything but me.
I hope this helps. You are in my prayers.
