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Finding Self Worth- Embracing Vulnerability
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 673203" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>You know what Cedar? Hawaiian culture. Elders will always say before speaking, or in prayer, "If my words have offended anybody, in any way, please forgive me" </p><p>They will start off saying this, knowing the possibility exists.</p><p>Likewise if I have ever offended anyone here, please forgive me.</p><p>But...</p><p>Oh no,no,no Cedar it was not you. There was an unfortunate misunderstanding In SA, on my part, and I was saddened by it. I wrote of it and was corrected to PM the moderator, if I had questions. (which I didn't know of- I didn't know the conversation thingee was PM or even what PM was???) I am techno challenged.</p><p>I was expressing my feelings, it was early in the morning I was sick, and just kind of clicking away my heart thoughts. I have to be more careful......with my heart thoughts.</p><p> It is true, real boats rock. You know Cedar, I love that saying.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you Cedar. I have grown up with so much self doubt and questioned everything about my self while at the same time, expressing through art and poetry. I have not shared too much of what I do, it is because I did not feel pride in my work. I could only see the mistakes. I kept seeing myself and my work through those eyes, you know? Funny, I have a lump in my throat writing of it. Attilla would chastise me, why don't you paint and write? I told her because I would have to go to my deepest feeling place to work my art, and I wasn't willing to go there. </p><p>Oh Cedar, I have buried so much of myself. I don't want to do that anymore.</p><p>That is where my post came from, and look where it got me, into trouble. But then I said, you know, "There is misunderstanding and conflict Leafy, just try to come clean."</p><p>I believe too, that this is a forum. If we have to go doing this pm-ing, when will it stop? Aren't forums supposed to be open? I understand the fear and reality of clickishness and all of that, but... oh geez I am going to get into trouble again. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />Sigh. I don't like the word "clicks", we have a few people at work, who talk about clicks. I tell them , you know, people come together because of their similarities and personalities, for all sorts of reasons. Clicks. Hmmm. A part of life. Embrace others differences. Doesn't mean everyone will like us. People have a right not to like us, what we say, or do, or write.</p><p> So funny you mention. I had the thickest eyebrows in the 7th grade when that movie came out, and long straight brown hair. I felt like the most awkward, ugly duckling. People started telling me I looked like Ali McGraw, and I saw myself as, well, maybe pretty. Isn't that sad? I couldn't really see that, until someone else pointed it out. I think this is why I relate so well with kids, I know how it feels to be uncertain, and feel so many feelings, <em>intensely</em>. It is almost a feeling overload. FOHD (Feeling Overload Hyperactivity Disorder)</p><p> Yup, you pegged it. However, I have developed quite a quirky personality in spite of my issues. You know Cedar, I am out there in the world, doing what I do, volunteering, coaching, working. In this, I realize that I am much like Copa. I have taken to a "bed" of over activity. I have buried myself in a cocoon of giving too much. Does that make sense? I have done so much for other people, and have been taken advantage of, because of this. I have been literally stomped on.</p><p>My new motto is, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." I have to look at what I am doing, and really reflect on it. Not to be self serving, but self-giving, and self forgiving.</p><p></p><p>I am happy, too, Cedar. You have no idea. I have learned so very much from you, Copa,Feeling, Kalahou, Serenity, Insane, Sea, and everyone here that is sharing their stories. I have learned that there are so many others out in the world who are facing similar situations with courage and bravery. </p><p>I also see much sadness, and negative feelings. </p><p>I was so thrilled to view Frankls piece, and thought sharing it with others on SA would be a good thing. I didn't come over to FOO, for awhile, I wasn't at a place to venture here. Won't other desperate parents benefit from some positivity? It is all so tiresome, the dealing with d c's with substance abuse, mentally challenged, homeless. I have been posting and replying to folks on PE and SA for awhile. The one huge theme I see most in SA, is how can one enjoy their lives knowing what is happening to their d cs? I thought it was a good thing to share there, the Frankl video, a way to cope, to not only have hope, but to envision what the hope looks like. I still feel it was good to post it there. People need tools to deal with this disaster. More tools than just detachment. Detachment becomes a hole that needs to be filled. Well, that is what I have learned. </p><p></p><p>I am so blessed to have found Brenes talk. To understand that our vulnerability is something to embrace. It is a marvelous thing.</p><p></p><p>Thank you so much Cedar, for all of your help, guidance and deep care.</p><p></p><p>We are all doing well, aren't we?</p><p></p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/choir.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":choir:" title="choir :choir:" data-shortname=":choir:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 673203, member: 19522"] You know what Cedar? Hawaiian culture. Elders will always say before speaking, or in prayer, "If my words have offended anybody, in any way, please forgive me" They will start off saying this, knowing the possibility exists. Likewise if I have ever offended anyone here, please forgive me. But... Oh no,no,no Cedar it was not you. There was an unfortunate misunderstanding In SA, on my part, and I was saddened by it. I wrote of it and was corrected to PM the moderator, if I had questions. (which I didn't know of- I didn't know the conversation thingee was PM or even what PM was???) I am techno challenged. I was expressing my feelings, it was early in the morning I was sick, and just kind of clicking away my heart thoughts. I have to be more careful......with my heart thoughts. It is true, real boats rock. You know Cedar, I love that saying. Thank you Cedar. I have grown up with so much self doubt and questioned everything about my self while at the same time, expressing through art and poetry. I have not shared too much of what I do, it is because I did not feel pride in my work. I could only see the mistakes. I kept seeing myself and my work through those eyes, you know? Funny, I have a lump in my throat writing of it. Attilla would chastise me, why don't you paint and write? I told her because I would have to go to my deepest feeling place to work my art, and I wasn't willing to go there. Oh Cedar, I have buried so much of myself. I don't want to do that anymore. That is where my post came from, and look where it got me, into trouble. But then I said, you know, "There is misunderstanding and conflict Leafy, just try to come clean." I believe too, that this is a forum. If we have to go doing this pm-ing, when will it stop? Aren't forums supposed to be open? I understand the fear and reality of clickishness and all of that, but... oh geez I am going to get into trouble again. :censored2:Sigh. I don't like the word "clicks", we have a few people at work, who talk about clicks. I tell them , you know, people come together because of their similarities and personalities, for all sorts of reasons. Clicks. Hmmm. A part of life. Embrace others differences. Doesn't mean everyone will like us. People have a right not to like us, what we say, or do, or write. So funny you mention. I had the thickest eyebrows in the 7th grade when that movie came out, and long straight brown hair. I felt like the most awkward, ugly duckling. People started telling me I looked like Ali McGraw, and I saw myself as, well, maybe pretty. Isn't that sad? I couldn't really see that, until someone else pointed it out. I think this is why I relate so well with kids, I know how it feels to be uncertain, and feel so many feelings, [I]intensely[/I]. It is almost a feeling overload. FOHD (Feeling Overload Hyperactivity Disorder) Yup, you pegged it. However, I have developed quite a quirky personality in spite of my issues. You know Cedar, I am out there in the world, doing what I do, volunteering, coaching, working. In this, I realize that I am much like Copa. I have taken to a "bed" of over activity. I have buried myself in a cocoon of giving too much. Does that make sense? I have done so much for other people, and have been taken advantage of, because of this. I have been literally stomped on. My new motto is, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." I have to look at what I am doing, and really reflect on it. Not to be self serving, but self-giving, and self forgiving. I am happy, too, Cedar. You have no idea. I have learned so very much from you, Copa,Feeling, Kalahou, Serenity, Insane, Sea, and everyone here that is sharing their stories. I have learned that there are so many others out in the world who are facing similar situations with courage and bravery. I also see much sadness, and negative feelings. I was so thrilled to view Frankls piece, and thought sharing it with others on SA would be a good thing. I didn't come over to FOO, for awhile, I wasn't at a place to venture here. Won't other desperate parents benefit from some positivity? It is all so tiresome, the dealing with d c's with substance abuse, mentally challenged, homeless. I have been posting and replying to folks on PE and SA for awhile. The one huge theme I see most in SA, is how can one enjoy their lives knowing what is happening to their d cs? I thought it was a good thing to share there, the Frankl video, a way to cope, to not only have hope, but to envision what the hope looks like. I still feel it was good to post it there. People need tools to deal with this disaster. More tools than just detachment. Detachment becomes a hole that needs to be filled. Well, that is what I have learned. I am so blessed to have found Brenes talk. To understand that our vulnerability is something to embrace. It is a marvelous thing. Thank you so much Cedar, for all of your help, guidance and deep care. We are all doing well, aren't we? :choir: (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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