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First-Grade Homework Battles - Desperately Need Help
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<blockquote data-quote="stressbunny" data-source="post: 256308"><p>Thanks everyone for your thoughts and replies. I appreciate all of you taking the time to share so much.</p><p></p><p>After reading your responses, I feel much better about requesting a change to difficult child's IEP. As of now, the only modifications he is receiving in school are his speech and occupational therapy sessions. He is otherwise completely mainstreamed, and it is a lot for him to manage.</p><p></p><p>I stayed up until the wee hours last night typing a letter to his IEP team. I feel a tremendous relief and also nervousness at the same time. I don't know how the school will react, but here it is (names omitted):</p><p></p><p> <em>IEP Members,</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>The assignments sent home with difficult child today are not complete. They include the Fact Power Game Mat math worksheet, Lion and Lamb writing assignment, and Go, Dog Go! book. </em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>At the end of the day, difficult childs ADHD stimulant medication is no longer as effective as during school hours, so his ability to sit, focus, concentrate and complete sustained tasks is <u>greatly</u> diminished after school. As a result, homework becomes a monumental effort that strains our whole family. In addition, we are faced with difficult childs extreme inflexibility and emotional volatility due to his autistic spectrum effects.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>As I write this, I have been struggling to get difficult child to do these assignments for over an hour. He is overwhelmed by the thought of it, and despite incentives or the threat of loss of his favorite toys Nerf guns and Legos, he has tantrumed and cried and run away from me, resisting all efforts to help him, while slamming doors around the house. We are both exhausted and in tears at this point. And this is just the preliminary to actually starting the homework!</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>Realistically, completing the math game, reading the entire Go Dog, Go! book and doing the one-page writing assignment would have taken difficult child <u>at least 45 minutes to an hour</u>, with help. Combined with the meltdowns, this is consuming our entire existence after school.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>This scenario occurs regularly, as he has homework most nights. Last Friday, he came home with five worksheets to complete over the weekend because he did not complete them in the classroom. It is important that you understand that difficult childs behavior during these times is extremely severe. A tantrum can last for more than an hour, and frustration, anger and defiance rule his actions. Again, this is due to the medication leaving his system. He is generally much more cooperative and level-headed during daytime hours when the extended release medication is working.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>As parents, we have to balance difficult childs after-school demands with his well being and that of our entire family. difficult childs nightly homework battles are causing unbearable stress for all of us and occur because his ADHD symptoms are not under control after school.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>It is in difficult childs and our best interest for him to complete his schoolwork at school, during the daytime hours when his medication is most effective. We know he needs help with reading, and we will continue to read with him at home, primarily on weekends.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>However, we request that difficult child no longer be assigned homework. We would like his IEP modified accordingly for the remainder of the school year. We trust that alternative arrangements can be made to promote his success academically, while also respecting the scope of his medical issues. We are not asking for difficult child to receive special privileges, but for him to have a reduced workload, or perhaps additional supportive services from the special education department that would be warranted for the remainder of the school year.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>We wish difficult child could come home, like most children, and work on his schoolwork peacefully and productively. But our reality is destructively different and far beyond typical childhood behavioral difficulties. Our priority at this point is developing a positive relationship with our child.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>If difficult child is not getting enough work completed in class, maybe it would be best to modify his workload (instead of two writing assignments, perhaps one would be enough to practice the skill). Or he may need more one-on-one assistance to stay productive, and in that situation, we would support his use of special education services, especially if his reading skills are poor. difficult child states that some of the assignments he brings home are center assignments he has missed while in speech sessions. </em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>In any case, we believe it to be in his best interest to receive regular recess times and to have homework eliminated due to his severe ADHD diagnosis. Eliminating the negative after-school experience and keeping expectations reasonable in light of his challenges will promote a better attitude and positive outlook about school for difficult child. If we need to schedule an IEP meeting, please let us know. We would be glad to come in and discuss this with you further.</em></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em>Thank you,</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em> StressBunny</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="stressbunny, post: 256308"] Thanks everyone for your thoughts and replies. I appreciate all of you taking the time to share so much. After reading your responses, I feel much better about requesting a change to difficult child's IEP. As of now, the only modifications he is receiving in school are his speech and occupational therapy sessions. He is otherwise completely mainstreamed, and it is a lot for him to manage. I stayed up until the wee hours last night typing a letter to his IEP team. I feel a tremendous relief and also nervousness at the same time. I don't know how the school will react, but here it is (names omitted): [I]IEP Members, The assignments sent home with difficult child today are not complete. They include the Fact Power Game Mat math worksheet, Lion and Lamb writing assignment, and Go, Dog Go! book. At the end of the day, difficult childs ADHD stimulant medication is no longer as effective as during school hours, so his ability to sit, focus, concentrate and complete sustained tasks is [U]greatly[/U] diminished after school. As a result, homework becomes a monumental effort that strains our whole family. In addition, we are faced with difficult childs extreme inflexibility and emotional volatility due to his autistic spectrum effects. As I write this, I have been struggling to get difficult child to do these assignments for over an hour. He is overwhelmed by the thought of it, and despite incentives or the threat of loss of his favorite toys Nerf guns and Legos, he has tantrumed and cried and run away from me, resisting all efforts to help him, while slamming doors around the house. We are both exhausted and in tears at this point. And this is just the preliminary to actually starting the homework! Realistically, completing the math game, reading the entire Go Dog, Go! book and doing the one-page writing assignment would have taken difficult child [U]at least 45 minutes to an hour[/U], with help. Combined with the meltdowns, this is consuming our entire existence after school. This scenario occurs regularly, as he has homework most nights. Last Friday, he came home with five worksheets to complete over the weekend because he did not complete them in the classroom. It is important that you understand that difficult childs behavior during these times is extremely severe. A tantrum can last for more than an hour, and frustration, anger and defiance rule his actions. Again, this is due to the medication leaving his system. He is generally much more cooperative and level-headed during daytime hours when the extended release medication is working. As parents, we have to balance difficult childs after-school demands with his well being and that of our entire family. difficult childs nightly homework battles are causing unbearable stress for all of us and occur because his ADHD symptoms are not under control after school. It is in difficult childs and our best interest for him to complete his schoolwork at school, during the daytime hours when his medication is most effective. We know he needs help with reading, and we will continue to read with him at home, primarily on weekends. However, we request that difficult child no longer be assigned homework. We would like his IEP modified accordingly for the remainder of the school year. We trust that alternative arrangements can be made to promote his success academically, while also respecting the scope of his medical issues. We are not asking for difficult child to receive special privileges, but for him to have a reduced workload, or perhaps additional supportive services from the special education department that would be warranted for the remainder of the school year. We wish difficult child could come home, like most children, and work on his schoolwork peacefully and productively. But our reality is destructively different and far beyond typical childhood behavioral difficulties. Our priority at this point is developing a positive relationship with our child. If difficult child is not getting enough work completed in class, maybe it would be best to modify his workload (instead of two writing assignments, perhaps one would be enough to practice the skill). Or he may need more one-on-one assistance to stay productive, and in that situation, we would support his use of special education services, especially if his reading skills are poor. difficult child states that some of the assignments he brings home are center assignments he has missed while in speech sessions. In any case, we believe it to be in his best interest to receive regular recess times and to have homework eliminated due to his severe ADHD diagnosis. Eliminating the negative after-school experience and keeping expectations reasonable in light of his challenges will promote a better attitude and positive outlook about school for difficult child. If we need to schedule an IEP meeting, please let us know. We would be glad to come in and discuss this with you further. Thank you, StressBunny[/I] [/QUOTE]
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