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Substance Abuse
First post - daughter secretly taking drugs through inhaler? (HELP IDENTIFY)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 616100" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>While I don't know, and you will probably never know, exactly what your daughter is taking, it is clear she is and has been for some time. Warning: Meth can make you look like a skeleten. My daughter took meth and she maybe weighed 85 lbs. I, like you, wondered about an eating disorder rather than drugs as I was convinced she was only smoking pot until I checked her room out, invaded her privacy, and lost my innocence. We made her leave and she did quit.</p><p></p><p>You may or may not want to tell us about your daughter's story. But, as of now, I would cut off all of her money supply. We did that as soon as Daughter brought cigarettes in the house...we knew she was also smoking pot...we didn't want to be responsible for funding one dime of her self-destruction. Thereafter, she did have to get a job and keep it, even while in high school, which she managed to finish. </p><p></p><p>I know a good book you can read called "Copdendent No more" by Melodie Beattie. It will help you get your life back because the truth is there isn't anything you can do to stop your daughter's behavior at all. You have no control over it. You can only set down a tough line, which usually is the best offense against drug users. That means, she uses drugs and she has to leave the house and find another place to stay (often it is couch surfing until the guests get sick of her). It is not sending checks for food. If you want to get her some food, you buy it and bring it to her because any money you give her will go straight to drugs. </p><p></p><p>I don't personally believe in financing a drug user (or really any 23 year olds) "toys" but, if you do, pay directly. Don't give her a dime. She will not spend it the way you want it spent. Tough love works. Enabling the users behavior just gives them excuses to continue the self-destruction and we fund it. Most of us did start out fudning them and quit. Have you ever gone to Nar-Anon? I like them a lot. Not everyone does. </p><p></p><p>You at least need a therapist who can help you detach from your daughter's drama. She is an adult now and you have no control over whether or not she gets clean or decides to keep it up. You can only control one person in the world...yourself. And you can live a fun, happy, good life even if your daughter is in a bad place. You must have other loved ones who need you. Focus on them. jMost of all, focus on your own life. Not easy at first, but gets easier with time...I would only assist daughter if she says, "I want to quit. I want to go into rehab." </p><p></p><p>When parents come here asking what to do about their adult child's poor choices, they are probably shocked when they hear that there is nothing they can do. Even more startling may be to hear that most of us have withdrawn from our child's drama and addiction and do not support much financially and that most don't live at home. But you can get into legal trouble yourself if she has drugs in your home, if she lives there. </p><p></p><p>Others will come along...many of us have walked your path. Some adult children do decide to quit and some do not. But they never quit because of anything we as parents say or do. In fact, many thumb their noses at us and are very disrespectful and even steal from us for drugs. </p><p></p><p>Stopping an addiction is hard and it has to come from the person who is addicted. You need to find peace and happiness in your life and try not to make it cushy and warm and soft for your daughter to destroy herself.</p><p></p><p>I feel so badly for your hurting mommy heart as I have been there. Please stick around.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 616100, member: 1550"] While I don't know, and you will probably never know, exactly what your daughter is taking, it is clear she is and has been for some time. Warning: Meth can make you look like a skeleten. My daughter took meth and she maybe weighed 85 lbs. I, like you, wondered about an eating disorder rather than drugs as I was convinced she was only smoking pot until I checked her room out, invaded her privacy, and lost my innocence. We made her leave and she did quit. You may or may not want to tell us about your daughter's story. But, as of now, I would cut off all of her money supply. We did that as soon as Daughter brought cigarettes in the house...we knew she was also smoking pot...we didn't want to be responsible for funding one dime of her self-destruction. Thereafter, she did have to get a job and keep it, even while in high school, which she managed to finish. I know a good book you can read called "Copdendent No more" by Melodie Beattie. It will help you get your life back because the truth is there isn't anything you can do to stop your daughter's behavior at all. You have no control over it. You can only set down a tough line, which usually is the best offense against drug users. That means, she uses drugs and she has to leave the house and find another place to stay (often it is couch surfing until the guests get sick of her). It is not sending checks for food. If you want to get her some food, you buy it and bring it to her because any money you give her will go straight to drugs. I don't personally believe in financing a drug user (or really any 23 year olds) "toys" but, if you do, pay directly. Don't give her a dime. She will not spend it the way you want it spent. Tough love works. Enabling the users behavior just gives them excuses to continue the self-destruction and we fund it. Most of us did start out fudning them and quit. Have you ever gone to Nar-Anon? I like them a lot. Not everyone does. You at least need a therapist who can help you detach from your daughter's drama. She is an adult now and you have no control over whether or not she gets clean or decides to keep it up. You can only control one person in the world...yourself. And you can live a fun, happy, good life even if your daughter is in a bad place. You must have other loved ones who need you. Focus on them. jMost of all, focus on your own life. Not easy at first, but gets easier with time...I would only assist daughter if she says, "I want to quit. I want to go into rehab." When parents come here asking what to do about their adult child's poor choices, they are probably shocked when they hear that there is nothing they can do. Even more startling may be to hear that most of us have withdrawn from our child's drama and addiction and do not support much financially and that most don't live at home. But you can get into legal trouble yourself if she has drugs in your home, if she lives there. Others will come along...many of us have walked your path. Some adult children do decide to quit and some do not. But they never quit because of anything we as parents say or do. In fact, many thumb their noses at us and are very disrespectful and even steal from us for drugs. Stopping an addiction is hard and it has to come from the person who is addicted. You need to find peace and happiness in your life and try not to make it cushy and warm and soft for your daughter to destroy herself. I feel so badly for your hurting mommy heart as I have been there. Please stick around. [/QUOTE]
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