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First post: Frustrated with dumb advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 248457" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>My same type experiance was when my son climbed up on the roof of the new house we moved into and the property manager had me forsed into a parenting class because my son "was not safe".</p><p>I sat through the confedential session with the woman working toward her clinicals in psycology as she was praising the out comes of 'contracts' with children of a mother who was not happy the therapist had let and encouraged her children to jump on the furniture. </p><p>And then she turned to me "why are you here" she was chewing and poping her gum. so i said that the property manager felt that my son was unsafe and wanted me in parenting classes. "what did he do?" </p><p>"He climbed onto the roof of the house "</p><p>Then she said "That is not safe"</p><p>and I said "I do not see it that way.'</p><p>She turned with big eyes and asked "How do you see it?"</p><p>"Well, after he climbed up there he was afraid to climb down because he said the trees he had climbed to get up there are to spindlely. Actually I feel that he made a break through and is finally showing a sence of fear . I made him wait up there for 45 minutes so he would not forget to stay on the ground in the future."</p><p></p><p>A couple days later the property manager admonished me "Do not ever do that again!" </p><p>" Do what?" </p><p>"Correct the therapist."</p><p>"I beg your pardon, but that was a confidential session and she had would loose her chance to get liscesed for her breach of privacy."</p><p>Then I was sent a letter and told that I need not attend the parenting classes.</p><p></p><p>How do you cope with adults who want to fix you with unsolicited advise? In a good mood I will listen to them talking to me and say hm and oh and what a good idea.</p><p>In a bad mood I will ask them if they have children and what are they doing these days and switch the topic.</p><p></p><p>I am not so certain that telling people that a child has a mental illness is actually a good aproach. Especially if your daughter is right there. I do feel that saying what you want the child to do is always the best route because sometimes they just start doing it. Lilly is learning to ask nicely by throwing this tantrum now. I can see that she is making great progress to the polite request we have been working on together for sometime, but first she is tearing up this display case.</p><p></p><p>I have had some fantastic moments with children who catch on over something really unexpected that gets them to laugh. Whining back, for example, using instructions but following their cadence. Throwing myself on the floor and having a temper tantrum....that really gets some kids attention. And one way or another it is finding a way to get them down that path.</p><p></p><p>maybe, i am still looking for the thing that is just what she will take to, is an honest answer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 248457, member: 6271"] My same type experiance was when my son climbed up on the roof of the new house we moved into and the property manager had me forsed into a parenting class because my son "was not safe". I sat through the confedential session with the woman working toward her clinicals in psycology as she was praising the out comes of 'contracts' with children of a mother who was not happy the therapist had let and encouraged her children to jump on the furniture. And then she turned to me "why are you here" she was chewing and poping her gum. so i said that the property manager felt that my son was unsafe and wanted me in parenting classes. "what did he do?" "He climbed onto the roof of the house " Then she said "That is not safe" and I said "I do not see it that way.' She turned with big eyes and asked "How do you see it?" "Well, after he climbed up there he was afraid to climb down because he said the trees he had climbed to get up there are to spindlely. Actually I feel that he made a break through and is finally showing a sence of fear . I made him wait up there for 45 minutes so he would not forget to stay on the ground in the future." A couple days later the property manager admonished me "Do not ever do that again!" " Do what?" "Correct the therapist." "I beg your pardon, but that was a confidential session and she had would loose her chance to get liscesed for her breach of privacy." Then I was sent a letter and told that I need not attend the parenting classes. How do you cope with adults who want to fix you with unsolicited advise? In a good mood I will listen to them talking to me and say hm and oh and what a good idea. In a bad mood I will ask them if they have children and what are they doing these days and switch the topic. I am not so certain that telling people that a child has a mental illness is actually a good aproach. Especially if your daughter is right there. I do feel that saying what you want the child to do is always the best route because sometimes they just start doing it. Lilly is learning to ask nicely by throwing this tantrum now. I can see that she is making great progress to the polite request we have been working on together for sometime, but first she is tearing up this display case. I have had some fantastic moments with children who catch on over something really unexpected that gets them to laugh. Whining back, for example, using instructions but following their cadence. Throwing myself on the floor and having a temper tantrum....that really gets some kids attention. And one way or another it is finding a way to get them down that path. maybe, i am still looking for the thing that is just what she will take to, is an honest answer. [/QUOTE]
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