Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First time on here .... Eeeekkk
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="UKMummy" data-source="post: 676346" data-attributes="member: 19939"><p>So happy to have found this wonderful forum. I've always searched and educated myself through my struggles, so have googled a lot! I have never found anything else that has moved me like this place. So many of you have written my thoughts down. I have a feeling you will understand. How amazing is that. </p><p>My Difficult Child is my middle child, male, 21yo. Always difficult even in a highchair but I couldn't of loved him more. He left the family home at 16 after being violent with his sister. We had been subjected to years of abuse, threats, stealing etc prior to this. He started smoking weed at 14. His father moved to another country when he was 6. I raised him and his siblings on my own and he wanted for nothing. I have great relationships with my other children. </p><p>He has broken my heart so many times. I will never feel whole while he is not happy but my life is good and I am in a wonderful supportive relationship. </p><p>He has never taken responsibility, blames me for his unsatisfactory life and is really jealous of my relationship with his siblings. </p><p>He is currently living with a family member in the same town as me but I hear they are running out of goodwill. He works part time. </p><p>I struggle daily with guilt. Sometimes it feels more than I can bear. Others I'm Ok. Everyday it's there. We've been through estrangement. We are currently seeing each other but it's always about him telling me how bad his life is. He has told me that he cannot bear to see me happy. </p><p>I will no longer give him money. He has never paid back a penny that I have 'lent' to him. I have learnt to say no. I had to. I hate that. I want to be able to help my children but he has taken that from me. He would take ever penny I have if I let him. </p><p>Where I am right now after years of endless drama is this. He cannot live with me. He will not get help for his drug use or mental health. He scares me. </p><p>I'd like some thoughts on how people have dealt with the guilt and also managing his jealousy of his siblings. He makes me feel I have to chose. He makes me feel that I always chose them. I feel so torn all of the time. I love them all but I like the others. </p><p>Also, When he moans about his life I always give sound advice, he hates it. He hates that I give him the information he needs to help himself. He wants me to give him money. How do I help him take responsibility ? Have any of you found that a particular thing you have said to your Difficult Child has hit home ?</p><p>Thank you for your time x</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="UKMummy, post: 676346, member: 19939"] So happy to have found this wonderful forum. I've always searched and educated myself through my struggles, so have googled a lot! I have never found anything else that has moved me like this place. So many of you have written my thoughts down. I have a feeling you will understand. How amazing is that. My Difficult Child is my middle child, male, 21yo. Always difficult even in a highchair but I couldn't of loved him more. He left the family home at 16 after being violent with his sister. We had been subjected to years of abuse, threats, stealing etc prior to this. He started smoking weed at 14. His father moved to another country when he was 6. I raised him and his siblings on my own and he wanted for nothing. I have great relationships with my other children. He has broken my heart so many times. I will never feel whole while he is not happy but my life is good and I am in a wonderful supportive relationship. He has never taken responsibility, blames me for his unsatisfactory life and is really jealous of my relationship with his siblings. He is currently living with a family member in the same town as me but I hear they are running out of goodwill. He works part time. I struggle daily with guilt. Sometimes it feels more than I can bear. Others I'm Ok. Everyday it's there. We've been through estrangement. We are currently seeing each other but it's always about him telling me how bad his life is. He has told me that he cannot bear to see me happy. I will no longer give him money. He has never paid back a penny that I have 'lent' to him. I have learnt to say no. I had to. I hate that. I want to be able to help my children but he has taken that from me. He would take ever penny I have if I let him. Where I am right now after years of endless drama is this. He cannot live with me. He will not get help for his drug use or mental health. He scares me. I'd like some thoughts on how people have dealt with the guilt and also managing his jealousy of his siblings. He makes me feel I have to chose. He makes me feel that I always chose them. I feel so torn all of the time. I love them all but I like the others. Also, When he moans about his life I always give sound advice, he hates it. He hates that I give him the information he needs to help himself. He wants me to give him money. How do I help him take responsibility ? Have any of you found that a particular thing you have said to your Difficult Child has hit home ? Thank you for your time x [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First time on here .... Eeeekkk
Top