Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First time posting, son 31, heroin addict, living at home, sober and stable for months, then not
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="PattyK" data-source="post: 730623" data-attributes="member: 22937"><p>Wow. I’m just overwhelmed. I have never had anyone to talk to about this who understands what we are going through. Those I went to church and worked with shamed and blamed me for bad parenting and judged my sons and husband to be worthless. I quit church years ago because of it. I worked for a judge who constantly threatened to fire me because of my sons and husband. I have retreated from community because of this type thing that happens in a small town. Hearing from others who have gone through this and want to support and tell your own stories just feels like a life line. </p><p></p><p>InADaze you are correct. He says he doesn’t want to be branded as someone with mental health issues for the rest of his life. He gets counseling from the methadone clinic. He gave them permission to talk to me. I wonder if I should consult with him to get his take on things. I know he can’t share anything with me except maybe advice specifically related to my son. I didn’t mention that my son was sexually assaulted several times as a young teen. There were several episodes with a handful of different offenders. I homeschooled because of the trouble he was in constantly from teachers. The oldest offender was from this group. Another was a cousin. And then some consensual episodes with friends when he was young. He didn’t tell me any of this until after he was 18. He refuses to pursue criminal charges. I think he feels that it was his fault for allowing it. He wanted people’s approval because he was so teased and bullied. He claims to have addressed these issues in counseling with methadone clinic counselors and having come to terms. Part of his trouble in finding work is that he can’t pass a drug test because of the methadone. He believes he will go straight back to heroin without it though. And he doesn’t want to go back to prison for possession of heroin. </p><p></p><p>SomewhereOutThere it is so good to hear from a person who made it on their own without help. I can’t even begin to tell you how encouraging that is to me. And hearing you say how you sent a daughter away and then cried for weeks reminds me that even though this causes pain, a parent can do it. Maybe I’m more afraid of my own pain and fear of loss than I have admitted. I suppose I can give him a list of resources and send him on his way. Is it reasonable to give him a time frame in which to be out?</p><p></p><p>I have been seeing a counselor for over a year to deal with the emotional trauma i have suffered in trying to survive when my husband and both sons were actively addicted to drugs and alcohol and all the circumstances and fear that brings on. But she does not understand addiction or how to deal with it. It might be time to transition to a counselor or group that can support me in this journey with this son. </p><p></p><p>I know I’ve said a lot and I appreciate your patience. But I’ve had all this bottled up for more than a decade and haven’t had a safe outlet to talk. Thank you so much for bearing with me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PattyK, post: 730623, member: 22937"] Wow. I’m just overwhelmed. I have never had anyone to talk to about this who understands what we are going through. Those I went to church and worked with shamed and blamed me for bad parenting and judged my sons and husband to be worthless. I quit church years ago because of it. I worked for a judge who constantly threatened to fire me because of my sons and husband. I have retreated from community because of this type thing that happens in a small town. Hearing from others who have gone through this and want to support and tell your own stories just feels like a life line. InADaze you are correct. He says he doesn’t want to be branded as someone with mental health issues for the rest of his life. He gets counseling from the methadone clinic. He gave them permission to talk to me. I wonder if I should consult with him to get his take on things. I know he can’t share anything with me except maybe advice specifically related to my son. I didn’t mention that my son was sexually assaulted several times as a young teen. There were several episodes with a handful of different offenders. I homeschooled because of the trouble he was in constantly from teachers. The oldest offender was from this group. Another was a cousin. And then some consensual episodes with friends when he was young. He didn’t tell me any of this until after he was 18. He refuses to pursue criminal charges. I think he feels that it was his fault for allowing it. He wanted people’s approval because he was so teased and bullied. He claims to have addressed these issues in counseling with methadone clinic counselors and having come to terms. Part of his trouble in finding work is that he can’t pass a drug test because of the methadone. He believes he will go straight back to heroin without it though. And he doesn’t want to go back to prison for possession of heroin. SomewhereOutThere it is so good to hear from a person who made it on their own without help. I can’t even begin to tell you how encouraging that is to me. And hearing you say how you sent a daughter away and then cried for weeks reminds me that even though this causes pain, a parent can do it. Maybe I’m more afraid of my own pain and fear of loss than I have admitted. I suppose I can give him a list of resources and send him on his way. Is it reasonable to give him a time frame in which to be out? I have been seeing a counselor for over a year to deal with the emotional trauma i have suffered in trying to survive when my husband and both sons were actively addicted to drugs and alcohol and all the circumstances and fear that brings on. But she does not understand addiction or how to deal with it. It might be time to transition to a counselor or group that can support me in this journey with this son. I know I’ve said a lot and I appreciate your patience. But I’ve had all this bottled up for more than a decade and haven’t had a safe outlet to talk. Thank you so much for bearing with me. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
First time posting, son 31, heroin addict, living at home, sober and stable for months, then not
Top