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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677236" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am with you, Tish.</p><p></p><p>You did not do all this for your son. It was all for your grandson, and for the family as a whole.</p><p></p><p>That he would do this kind of power play is concerning to say the least. One could say that he was being defensive and reactive, but still.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand he must feel that he is doing everything right. All that he can do. From his point of view what he is doing is a major turnaround. And it is.</p><p></p><p>So, now that I have written this, I have calmed down and am seeing things differently.</p><p></p><p>This is what the calmed down me thinks: This really is between your son and social services. We cannot expect your son to be the kind of parent you are. He is not the only borderline inadequate young parent that has a disabled child.</p><p></p><p>At the same time you cannot shield your son from consequences because then it would be you who could be partly responsible for any harm that might come to your grandson. Your son is fair warned. He knows <em>now</em> that you will advocate for your grandson. You told him.</p><p></p><p>Why not talk you and your husband and agree how you will handle this if this irresponsible behavior on your son's part does continue. From now on. One mistake does not a pattern make. You son now knows. I think I would attribute his reaction to fear, and see how he handles it.</p><p></p><p>I think I would have a hard time keeping on with this arrangement with his coming over <em>as if nothing happened</em>. When he threatened your husband and threatened your marriage. <em>Something did happen. </em>He was responsible and instead of accepting responsibility he escalated and he accused and he threatened. He needs to clean this up. Let's see what happens.</p><p></p><p>If I were you I would talk to your husband and decide how you want to handle that too. The altercation. Because I think it cannot be forgotten. It needs to be addressed. </p><p></p><p>The two issues seem unrelated but they are. Your son's taking responsibility, is at the heart of things. </p><p></p><p>I am glad you are back. I have wondered how things are going. It sounds like things <em>are</em> going well. There is every reason to expect they will get back on track, if your son handles this like he should. Life is full of tests, is it not?</p><p></p><p>COPa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677236, member: 18958"] I am with you, Tish. You did not do all this for your son. It was all for your grandson, and for the family as a whole. That he would do this kind of power play is concerning to say the least. One could say that he was being defensive and reactive, but still. On the other hand he must feel that he is doing everything right. All that he can do. From his point of view what he is doing is a major turnaround. And it is. So, now that I have written this, I have calmed down and am seeing things differently. This is what the calmed down me thinks: This really is between your son and social services. We cannot expect your son to be the kind of parent you are. He is not the only borderline inadequate young parent that has a disabled child. At the same time you cannot shield your son from consequences because then it would be you who could be partly responsible for any harm that might come to your grandson. Your son is fair warned. He knows [I]now[/I] that you will advocate for your grandson. You told him. Why not talk you and your husband and agree how you will handle this if this irresponsible behavior on your son's part does continue. From now on. One mistake does not a pattern make. You son now knows. I think I would attribute his reaction to fear, and see how he handles it. I think I would have a hard time keeping on with this arrangement with his coming over [I]as if nothing happened[/I]. When he threatened your husband and threatened your marriage. [I]Something did happen. [/I]He was responsible and instead of accepting responsibility he escalated and he accused and he threatened. He needs to clean this up. Let's see what happens. If I were you I would talk to your husband and decide how you want to handle that too. The altercation. Because I think it cannot be forgotten. It needs to be addressed. The two issues seem unrelated but they are. Your son's taking responsibility, is at the heart of things. I am glad you are back. I have wondered how things are going. It sounds like things [I]are[/I] going well. There is every reason to expect they will get back on track, if your son handles this like he should. Life is full of tests, is it not? COPa [/QUOTE]
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