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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 427094" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>So you have everything you need to make a neuropsychologist appointment. When are you going to do it?</p><p></p><p>I think the thing that was helpful to me about Ross Greene's book was the idea of classifying/prioritizing things. Also looking for triggers.</p><p></p><p>I also agree that offering to stand with him while he's brushing his teeth may not have been a good call given the overall picture with him. It was great that he was able to brainstorm at all. That, in my opinion, is a very good thing. Now it's your job to recognize when the suggestions he comes up with are just another form of controlling you and either offer an alternative or ask him what else he can think of that doesn't require your presence.</p><p></p><p>The teeth brushing should be embedded within a set routine that includes you checking on his progress and eventually have some time with him reading a book, etc.</p><p></p><p>I'm guessing here, but is it possible when the teeth brushing thing fell apart at 2 weeks that it was really him testing you to see if you were going to follow through? Was there any consequence for the change in his behavior?</p><p></p><p>Having a difficult child is tough. As parents we end up doing a certain amount of grieving over the child we thought we would get. I know I felt resistant to most of these ideas at first and even felt angry and criticized when other people told me this stuff. It was hard not to feel like life was really unfair. I have learned, painfully at times, that I can't whine or avoid doing what has to be done. When I followed this kind of advice consistently and persistently - things got better. It works and I wish that I had been able to shake off those feelings of resentment and disappointment sooner.</p><p></p><p>So please know that I am not criticizing you and husband. Rather I am totally sympathetic and really hope that the lessons I have learned the hard way will be helpful to you and your family.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs,</p><p></p><p>PJ</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 427094, member: 11920"] So you have everything you need to make a neuropsychologist appointment. When are you going to do it? I think the thing that was helpful to me about Ross Greene's book was the idea of classifying/prioritizing things. Also looking for triggers. I also agree that offering to stand with him while he's brushing his teeth may not have been a good call given the overall picture with him. It was great that he was able to brainstorm at all. That, in my opinion, is a very good thing. Now it's your job to recognize when the suggestions he comes up with are just another form of controlling you and either offer an alternative or ask him what else he can think of that doesn't require your presence. The teeth brushing should be embedded within a set routine that includes you checking on his progress and eventually have some time with him reading a book, etc. I'm guessing here, but is it possible when the teeth brushing thing fell apart at 2 weeks that it was really him testing you to see if you were going to follow through? Was there any consequence for the change in his behavior? Having a difficult child is tough. As parents we end up doing a certain amount of grieving over the child we thought we would get. I know I felt resistant to most of these ideas at first and even felt angry and criticized when other people told me this stuff. It was hard not to feel like life was really unfair. I have learned, painfully at times, that I can't whine or avoid doing what has to be done. When I followed this kind of advice consistently and persistently - things got better. It works and I wish that I had been able to shake off those feelings of resentment and disappointment sooner. So please know that I am not criticizing you and husband. Rather I am totally sympathetic and really hope that the lessons I have learned the hard way will be helpful to you and your family. Many hugs, PJ [/QUOTE]
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