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For Cedar or anyone: My dad did it again...
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 650733" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>I know it's no consolation MWM, but I think most families are like yours (and mine). If I told my mother anything personal and asked her to keep it to herself she would be on the phone to her 'friends', neighbours and anyone else she could think of. My mother thrives on drama and turns anything and everything into a trauma with herself at the centre. So, my brother and I tell her nothing, because she is incapable of not using it to her advantage. In your situation, my mother would love being able to tell everyone how much SHE was suffering and how much SHE was worrying and how much SHE was having sleepless nights over her daughter's mastectomy. In reality, she would not be giving me a moment's thought, because everything is about HER. I've come to the realisation that she is incapable of doing anything else. Her brain is hard-wired to behave in this way and I have to adapt my behaviour to deal with this. So, I didn't tell her I was divorced from my first husband until 6 months after it was finalised. I didn't tell her I'd had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy until 6 months after I was back in work. I follow the 'six months' rule.</p><p></p><p>It's sad I know. Our parents should be there for us to turn to when we need them. But there you go. It is what it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 650733, member: 17650"] I know it's no consolation MWM, but I think most families are like yours (and mine). If I told my mother anything personal and asked her to keep it to herself she would be on the phone to her 'friends', neighbours and anyone else she could think of. My mother thrives on drama and turns anything and everything into a trauma with herself at the centre. So, my brother and I tell her nothing, because she is incapable of not using it to her advantage. In your situation, my mother would love being able to tell everyone how much SHE was suffering and how much SHE was worrying and how much SHE was having sleepless nights over her daughter's mastectomy. In reality, she would not be giving me a moment's thought, because everything is about HER. I've come to the realisation that she is incapable of doing anything else. Her brain is hard-wired to behave in this way and I have to adapt my behaviour to deal with this. So, I didn't tell her I was divorced from my first husband until 6 months after it was finalised. I didn't tell her I'd had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy until 6 months after I was back in work. I follow the 'six months' rule. It's sad I know. Our parents should be there for us to turn to when we need them. But there you go. It is what it is. [/QUOTE]
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