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For those of you with BiPolar
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 9418" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>there are so many things a person can do- but often they are not quite the same doing them as you think they are going to be before you do them. Very often it is only once you are doing it that you look around and go , gosh, this is not at all what I thought it would be. Or maybe the part that IS how you thought it would be is just a tiny little part of something and the rest is doing things you do NOT like or are NOT good at etc. </p><p></p><p>something else that comes to my mind is that---well once we get to go off on our own.....we CAN do some things our own way. When we are children and teens in public school, we must adhere to the hours that are predetermined and traditional. We must take a lot of classes that the state says we MUST take in a variety of subjects we might not do well at or have much interest in. We live - well usually- in homes where maybe they are our family (or maybe not) but most of the time we do not have many CHOICES. (as in you can choose your friends but not your family) And sometimes the chemistry does not work, or sometimes we feel as if we do not quite fit in.....BUT as we move on out of our childhood homes, we DO have some choices, often MORE choices. We can bathe when WE want (hopefully) or eat cold spaghetti for breakfast (so long as we get ourself an income) and we can stay up all nite watching TV if we want...</p><p>and THEN sometimes we DO learn, finally. and we learn it thru our own experience, which is usually a far better teacher than someone TELLING us someething. </p><p>And yes, if we do not perform how our boss requires, we WILL get fired, but for many kids, finally, they DO start to "get it" then......BUT when we get to choose a job...or a field- or our classes-----it is easier to be motivated to go. and if it IS something we are interested in, it will (hopefully) draw us in. and usually the people around us will also be interested and the curiosity is contagious, and bonding takes place ---</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If he is older than lots of his classmates, I bet he is feeling......uncomfortable. He may feel useless, hopeless. </p><p></p><p></p><p>My dtr was a 3rd year freshman, and that thought alone instead of motivating her- well it crushed her. </p><p>Her grades were OK, she missed finals (3 times)due to administration issues...(long story)</p><p></p><p>Yes, there are different "degrees" of bipolar and bipolar does not "stay stagnant"- it cycles, it is ever changing......from birth to age 13 my dtr was an ultra rapid cycler- mixed states. I also was an ultra rapid cycler, mixed states. Both her and I could run the gamut in one day back and forth up and down and sideways. </p><p>when she was 16, it was AWFUL......sex, drugs, drinking etc. And she got caught- a LOT. arrested. then when she um..left school----she spent a full year home, never leaving home, (her choice) a very good part of that time asleep......her doctor said she was "healing" I was so glad she was no longer sexing, drinking, drugging and running around or agetting arrested......and when she began to emerge from "healing" (sleeping and staying home, isolated) she slowly began to step out into the world. Much more cautious, much more aware, more aware of what SHE could handle. and usually only with me by her side. </p><p>Her doctor and I discussed somethng I thought I noticed. Her cycles have spread out considerably, and continue to do so. She no longer seems to cross the line between hypomania and full blown mania. She verbalizes more, has more self awareness......I asked psychiatrist if psychiatrist had seen this with other early onset bipolar kids? psychiatrist said yes, sometimes.......sometimes an Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP) kinda...mellows.........they learn what their limits are, what they can and cannot tolerate or handle. </p><p>Now you can say that they cannot let their illness dictate their life, BUTthink about it- diabetics know what they can or cannot tolerate and they learn to live within their limits. SO do asthmatics and arthritics etc. You can learn to accomodate yourself, you can learn to compensate and you can learn to adjust. And very often, you can find work etc that can fit to who you are. We ALL do that, and in the rest of us when WE do that- it is considered "good" and "healthy" </p><p></p><p>Yes, I am also aware not ALL bipolars CAN accomplish this...... yes, there ARE varying degrees of bipolar. and yes, you can go awhile and things can be OK and then you can hit a rough time. Sooooooo you do what you have to do------at the time of crisis. Maybe a leave of absence or a week or 2 of sick time? ANd yes, I am painfully aware that some people cannot at all go on and be independant at all......and some will self destruct.....</p><p>but-----not ALL will.</p><p></p><p>There are some very accomplished bipolar people all thru history. </p><p>ANd there are some very briliant people who did not pass school even in their chosen field......but who went on and did VERY well. ANd thinking outside the box, while it might be uncomfortable to listen to- it is the people who CAN do so that often do cause great things. </p><p></p><p>Hmmm...I am starting to get a lil confused here..there are 2 threads that have been running thru my mind, that in my mind are kind of similar......</p><p>-------for those who are bipolar and another thread about um.something like- did agencies help? </p><p></p><p>something that always creeps into my mind is that.....acknowledging bipolar in kids is relatively new. Treating it is even newer......sure seems to me no treatment has been in place yet quite long enough for anyone to really truly know what IS successful.....(and what isn;t) and bipolar does not have any um..."test" like a blood test.......or xray that says definetly yes......this IS bipolar. and this is "how bad it is" or to what degree the intensity of this specific persons bipolar is. and well, it is all just so...............unsettled. so non concrete. </p><p></p><p>OK, I am bipolar......I had a successful career, I had some WILD and horrible personnal problems being bipolar.....and I KNOW I have had people who have never been formally diagnosis'ed judge me, but when I look at them, I think WHOA! Maybe you are my boss.....maybe your house is 10 times bigger than mine, BUT yikes YOU are WAY more bipolar or schizo or delusional or psychotic than I have EVER been. AND I have had some pretty sound thoughts and ideas that others discredited simply becuz I carry a bipolar diagnosis, and then I turn around and they have confirmed or validated my ideas, or stolen them......or whatever. </p><p>and I know a LOT of non diagnosis'ed bipolar people who do no better than some of the very wildly bipolar people I know at managing their own life or their own affairs. and while it might be hard to live with a bipolar, I know a lot of people who are supposedly great people who are so judgemental and so cold and so....well lots of bad things------well- I would rather live with my seriously mentally ill husband and my wild and crazy BiPolar (BP) dtr and my wonderful brilliant but goofy little son. ANd while I am bipolar, I am VERY loyal.....VERY faithful......and far too generous. It is my generosity that stops me from ever being wealthy..not my bipolar. And while much of the world might think THATS "crazy"------it suits me just fine. I LIKE myself. ANd THAT is an IMPORTANT thing------to like yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.......sadly- so many people seem to only see the "bad" parts of bipolar.....it makes it a little harder for a bipolar person to figure out how to like themself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 9418, member: 1697"] there are so many things a person can do- but often they are not quite the same doing them as you think they are going to be before you do them. Very often it is only once you are doing it that you look around and go , gosh, this is not at all what I thought it would be. Or maybe the part that IS how you thought it would be is just a tiny little part of something and the rest is doing things you do NOT like or are NOT good at etc. something else that comes to my mind is that---well once we get to go off on our own.....we CAN do some things our own way. When we are children and teens in public school, we must adhere to the hours that are predetermined and traditional. We must take a lot of classes that the state says we MUST take in a variety of subjects we might not do well at or have much interest in. We live - well usually- in homes where maybe they are our family (or maybe not) but most of the time we do not have many CHOICES. (as in you can choose your friends but not your family) And sometimes the chemistry does not work, or sometimes we feel as if we do not quite fit in.....BUT as we move on out of our childhood homes, we DO have some choices, often MORE choices. We can bathe when WE want (hopefully) or eat cold spaghetti for breakfast (so long as we get ourself an income) and we can stay up all nite watching TV if we want... and THEN sometimes we DO learn, finally. and we learn it thru our own experience, which is usually a far better teacher than someone TELLING us someething. And yes, if we do not perform how our boss requires, we WILL get fired, but for many kids, finally, they DO start to "get it" then......BUT when we get to choose a job...or a field- or our classes-----it is easier to be motivated to go. and if it IS something we are interested in, it will (hopefully) draw us in. and usually the people around us will also be interested and the curiosity is contagious, and bonding takes place --- If he is older than lots of his classmates, I bet he is feeling......uncomfortable. He may feel useless, hopeless. My dtr was a 3rd year freshman, and that thought alone instead of motivating her- well it crushed her. Her grades were OK, she missed finals (3 times)due to administration issues...(long story) Yes, there are different "degrees" of bipolar and bipolar does not "stay stagnant"- it cycles, it is ever changing......from birth to age 13 my dtr was an ultra rapid cycler- mixed states. I also was an ultra rapid cycler, mixed states. Both her and I could run the gamut in one day back and forth up and down and sideways. when she was 16, it was AWFUL......sex, drugs, drinking etc. And she got caught- a LOT. arrested. then when she um..left school----she spent a full year home, never leaving home, (her choice) a very good part of that time asleep......her doctor said she was "healing" I was so glad she was no longer sexing, drinking, drugging and running around or agetting arrested......and when she began to emerge from "healing" (sleeping and staying home, isolated) she slowly began to step out into the world. Much more cautious, much more aware, more aware of what SHE could handle. and usually only with me by her side. Her doctor and I discussed somethng I thought I noticed. Her cycles have spread out considerably, and continue to do so. She no longer seems to cross the line between hypomania and full blown mania. She verbalizes more, has more self awareness......I asked psychiatrist if psychiatrist had seen this with other early onset bipolar kids? psychiatrist said yes, sometimes.......sometimes an Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP) kinda...mellows.........they learn what their limits are, what they can and cannot tolerate or handle. Now you can say that they cannot let their illness dictate their life, BUTthink about it- diabetics know what they can or cannot tolerate and they learn to live within their limits. SO do asthmatics and arthritics etc. You can learn to accomodate yourself, you can learn to compensate and you can learn to adjust. And very often, you can find work etc that can fit to who you are. We ALL do that, and in the rest of us when WE do that- it is considered "good" and "healthy" Yes, I am also aware not ALL bipolars CAN accomplish this...... yes, there ARE varying degrees of bipolar. and yes, you can go awhile and things can be OK and then you can hit a rough time. Sooooooo you do what you have to do------at the time of crisis. Maybe a leave of absence or a week or 2 of sick time? ANd yes, I am painfully aware that some people cannot at all go on and be independant at all......and some will self destruct..... but-----not ALL will. There are some very accomplished bipolar people all thru history. ANd there are some very briliant people who did not pass school even in their chosen field......but who went on and did VERY well. ANd thinking outside the box, while it might be uncomfortable to listen to- it is the people who CAN do so that often do cause great things. Hmmm...I am starting to get a lil confused here..there are 2 threads that have been running thru my mind, that in my mind are kind of similar...... -------for those who are bipolar and another thread about um.something like- did agencies help? something that always creeps into my mind is that.....acknowledging bipolar in kids is relatively new. Treating it is even newer......sure seems to me no treatment has been in place yet quite long enough for anyone to really truly know what IS successful.....(and what isn;t) and bipolar does not have any um..."test" like a blood test.......or xray that says definetly yes......this IS bipolar. and this is "how bad it is" or to what degree the intensity of this specific persons bipolar is. and well, it is all just so...............unsettled. so non concrete. OK, I am bipolar......I had a successful career, I had some WILD and horrible personnal problems being bipolar.....and I KNOW I have had people who have never been formally diagnosis'ed judge me, but when I look at them, I think WHOA! Maybe you are my boss.....maybe your house is 10 times bigger than mine, BUT yikes YOU are WAY more bipolar or schizo or delusional or psychotic than I have EVER been. AND I have had some pretty sound thoughts and ideas that others discredited simply becuz I carry a bipolar diagnosis, and then I turn around and they have confirmed or validated my ideas, or stolen them......or whatever. and I know a LOT of non diagnosis'ed bipolar people who do no better than some of the very wildly bipolar people I know at managing their own life or their own affairs. and while it might be hard to live with a bipolar, I know a lot of people who are supposedly great people who are so judgemental and so cold and so....well lots of bad things------well- I would rather live with my seriously mentally ill husband and my wild and crazy BiPolar (BP) dtr and my wonderful brilliant but goofy little son. ANd while I am bipolar, I am VERY loyal.....VERY faithful......and far too generous. It is my generosity that stops me from ever being wealthy..not my bipolar. And while much of the world might think THATS "crazy"------it suits me just fine. I LIKE myself. ANd THAT is an IMPORTANT thing------to like yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.......sadly- so many people seem to only see the "bad" parts of bipolar.....it makes it a little harder for a bipolar person to figure out how to like themself. [/QUOTE]
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