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General Parenting
for those parents who consider themselves religious/spiritual...
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 588840" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I've waited before responding.....maybe I should wait longer. It's been a rough week and I'm not feeling particularly bright, lol. My approach to this issue was a little different. I "think" that my bio kids at least (and maybe the steps who had a different early exposure have all turned out to be spiritual people. My easy child son and my easy child daughter changed from the Catholic Church to the Episcopal Church and they both are participatory. GFGmom (yes, THAT one, lol) has alot of compassion for those in need........although, of course, her needs dominate. Sigh. easy child/difficult child does "believe" but he has not associated with a particular denomination. </p><p></p><p>Here is what I did when this issue came up. In a nutshell and with-o a great deal of elaboration I purposely did not show shock or dismay. My responses were limited to low key comments such as "Is there a particular part of the Church that makes you uncomfortable?" Then I listened and didn't hear much of value, lol. Then I asked "which of the ten Commandments do you disagree with? Do you believe that lying, killing, harming, stealing etc. etc. are AOK?</p><p>Obviously the answer was "uh, No". </p><p></p><p>Then I did my thing. "I believe that all human beings who are blessed with normal intelligence and compassion have an obligation to help those who are hungry, in need or alone. Do you believe that, too?" I wrapped it up by saying that "I believe that you represent the best attributes of a caring spirtual prson. I have never seen y ou purposely set out to harm anyone. I believe you are going to contribute to society in the best way you can. I am proud of you. I can not force you to join your family at church services BUT I would like you to think about this. God has given us each other and it is our habit to give ONE HOUR at our place of worship a week. In that ONE HOUR you may, just by your presence, influence others to make wise choices. It makes me very proud that we can give that little bit of time together to show support for the principles of the Church. Give it some thought, please. Is ONE HOUR out of your week too much?" Forget the parts that don't turn you on and think about what it means to your family. I don't think it is too much to ask." Love, Mom</p><p></p><p>My spirituality is vastly different that my Mother's AND my siblings. I found "dressing up" to be inconsistent with the deep meaning of following the tenets. on the other hand, I have no fear of my future. I have tried to be kind, loving, helpful and supportive...and yes I follow the ten commandments. I am happy that most of them are comfortable with their soul and their choices. I absolutely avoided all arguments about doctrine. I believe you follow the basics. It seems to have worked. easy child/difficult child does not attend mass but he carries a rosary with him. Little difficult child got his head messed up by neighbors who are kind people with kinda a far out approach. With his MH issues I haven't been able to influence him to conform.......but........he has never purposely harmed anyone and I know he does pray on occassion. I'm satisfied. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 588840, member: 35"] I've waited before responding.....maybe I should wait longer. It's been a rough week and I'm not feeling particularly bright, lol. My approach to this issue was a little different. I "think" that my bio kids at least (and maybe the steps who had a different early exposure have all turned out to be spiritual people. My easy child son and my easy child daughter changed from the Catholic Church to the Episcopal Church and they both are participatory. GFGmom (yes, THAT one, lol) has alot of compassion for those in need........although, of course, her needs dominate. Sigh. easy child/difficult child does "believe" but he has not associated with a particular denomination. Here is what I did when this issue came up. In a nutshell and with-o a great deal of elaboration I purposely did not show shock or dismay. My responses were limited to low key comments such as "Is there a particular part of the Church that makes you uncomfortable?" Then I listened and didn't hear much of value, lol. Then I asked "which of the ten Commandments do you disagree with? Do you believe that lying, killing, harming, stealing etc. etc. are AOK? Obviously the answer was "uh, No". Then I did my thing. "I believe that all human beings who are blessed with normal intelligence and compassion have an obligation to help those who are hungry, in need or alone. Do you believe that, too?" I wrapped it up by saying that "I believe that you represent the best attributes of a caring spirtual prson. I have never seen y ou purposely set out to harm anyone. I believe you are going to contribute to society in the best way you can. I am proud of you. I can not force you to join your family at church services BUT I would like you to think about this. God has given us each other and it is our habit to give ONE HOUR at our place of worship a week. In that ONE HOUR you may, just by your presence, influence others to make wise choices. It makes me very proud that we can give that little bit of time together to show support for the principles of the Church. Give it some thought, please. Is ONE HOUR out of your week too much?" Forget the parts that don't turn you on and think about what it means to your family. I don't think it is too much to ask." Love, Mom My spirituality is vastly different that my Mother's AND my siblings. I found "dressing up" to be inconsistent with the deep meaning of following the tenets. on the other hand, I have no fear of my future. I have tried to be kind, loving, helpful and supportive...and yes I follow the ten commandments. I am happy that most of them are comfortable with their soul and their choices. I absolutely avoided all arguments about doctrine. I believe you follow the basics. It seems to have worked. easy child/difficult child does not attend mass but he carries a rosary with him. Little difficult child got his head messed up by neighbors who are kind people with kinda a far out approach. With his MH issues I haven't been able to influence him to conform.......but........he has never purposely harmed anyone and I know he does pray on occassion. I'm satisfied. DDD [/QUOTE]
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