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? for those with Restraining Order/Order of Protections
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<blockquote data-quote="helpme" data-source="post: 337893" data-attributes="member: 8202"><p>I've been wondering for a while what happens "after"</p><p>a restraining order or an order of protection.</p><p>Another post got me wondering how everyone's</p><p>experiences with the orders have been and/or the</p><p>consequences of such. Maybe this information will</p><p>help someone else...</p><p></p><p>Personally, I don't think I even had time to consider</p><p>getting a restraining order. I honestly didn't even</p><p>realize I'd get one either. I'm in IL, so I'll relate my</p><p>experiences.</p><p></p><p>My son was prosecuted by the state for domestic</p><p>battery, as a juvenile. At the time, I had no idea</p><p>that a restraining order could be requested and ordered</p><p>immediately. But after learning of such, it definitely</p><p>made sense. If someone brutally murdered someone,</p><p>then I would pray that the police would contact</p><p>a judge immediately and a judge would sign such</p><p>restraining order. </p><p></p><p>For me, I don't think anyone could have convinced</p><p>me to get an order of protection (which is requested</p><p>by a person or party of people). But I knew I needed</p><p>my girls to be left out of my son's lifestyle and temperament.</p><p>I needed to protect. After watching how the court</p><p>handled the issue, learning about domestic battery laws,</p><p>and people repeatedly saying why wasn't a RO issued,</p><p>I then realized that I had more than enough evidence</p><p>to at least request an order of protection. I also</p><p>hoped it would be a way for difficult child to get the help he needed.</p><p>Dear daddy would be forced to realize son's problem</p><p>I was wrong of course. Dear dad says I have the problem.</p><p></p><p>Personally, I did not want the order to include myself.</p><p>And my first request (that just lingered in the courts)</p><p>did not include myself. But, after son broke into house</p><p>after I left and car issues evolved, I realized that I could</p><p>not protect the girls in a house that the law was informing</p><p>me, since I held custody of difficult child, I could not exclude difficult child</p><p>from the home. Middle daughter was driving to school, and </p><p>I could not include the truck as son threatened damage to such</p><p>while she was in summer school (the truck being in both my </p><p>and soon to be ex's name), and was suspended for</p><p>such. </p><p></p><p>I then added my name to the request for an order of protection.</p><p>I filed in 2008, and the judge asked if I would permit a</p><p>civil no contact order. I though they were the same.</p><p>They are not. A civil no contact order means that the other</p><p>person is responsible "financially" if any further issues occur.</p><p></p><p>It was not worth a dime. It could have been, if father had </p><p>permitted son to realize the issues at hand. But father only said,</p><p>'he didn't believe in that" (meaning the civil no contact order).</p><p>I chose the civil no contact order to also permit son to</p><p>admit to his past wrongdoing, take his punishment, </p><p>and move on to "adulthood".</p><p></p><p>When the issues got even bigger with difficult child, I went and filed again,</p><p>for an Order of Protection. It was finally granted in 2009 and is</p><p>valid until 2011. difficult child also has a misdemeanor charge of </p><p>violating such order.</p><p></p><p>difficult child went on to commit several other criminal offenses, felony</p><p>stealing(s), underage drinking and driving, illegal consumption,</p><p>state trespassing, evading police, mob action, assault with a</p><p>weapon/no firearm (a screwdriver of course) and so forth.</p><p>Evictions and unemployment issues as well. Drinking and drug</p><p>issues of course. You name it, he probably was charged with it. </p><p>For me, the worst being sexual assault with the victim greater </p><p>than 13 and less than 18, with less than 5 years between victim </p><p>and the accused.</p><p></p><p>Whhhhat I said is that about? Oh, it's a felony if they are over</p><p>5 years apart. Yup! And if they aren't? Oh its a misdemeanor?</p><p>Maximum punishment? 1 year time and/or up to $2500 fine?</p><p>Oh? I see! Another child (17) charged with the same offense.</p><p>Okay. And? It was sexual penetration? Really? And what</p><p>is that mean? Oh, from something as simple as penis touching</p><p>any part of another person's skin? All the way to intercourse,</p><p>etc? Gotcha. Um, please keep my son away from his sisters,</p><p>until they can defend themselves. I will also inform others</p><p>of the crazy damn law. Thank you very much!!!! (yea,</p><p>i knew son had sexual problems long before this)</p><p></p><p>RO and OP remedies are a whole other discussion of course.</p><p>We had one, that difficult child attend anger management and</p><p>see the counselor. He has refused. His father has refused.</p><p>I stopped caring about solutions. But the state of IL</p><p>did ask us as victims what we felt was appropriate, and</p><p>they agreed and ordered such.</p><p></p><p>Paternal side hates me for the issues. And I do mean</p><p>hates me. I could care less, in the end, they got the</p><p>kid (he lives there now) and they can deal with it all.</p><p>Good luck with it all I say. They do let difficult child call me</p><p>and ask for money before they end up paying it of course.</p><p>How sweet of them!</p><p></p><p>Furthermore, come the end of June, middle daughter turns 18.</p><p>And, she wants to rescind the order on her behalf? Um...</p><p>okay, do I still need my divorce attorney (since I was in divorce</p><p>proceedings, I could not go pro bono (represent myself)?</p><p>Yup, I sure do. Bummerz. What do I need an attorney for?</p><p>We will see I guess.</p><p></p><p>All past legal fees for this stuff still remain unresolved.</p><p>I've refused to pay for the attorney fees.</p><p></p><p>For me, the OP was our detachment. I even said to myself</p><p>after it was ordered, "i've lost my son today". Our future </p><p>still remains unseen.</p><p></p><p>I'm SO curious about others experiences.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpme, post: 337893, member: 8202"] I've been wondering for a while what happens "after" a restraining order or an order of protection. Another post got me wondering how everyone's experiences with the orders have been and/or the consequences of such. Maybe this information will help someone else... Personally, I don't think I even had time to consider getting a restraining order. I honestly didn't even realize I'd get one either. I'm in IL, so I'll relate my experiences. My son was prosecuted by the state for domestic battery, as a juvenile. At the time, I had no idea that a restraining order could be requested and ordered immediately. But after learning of such, it definitely made sense. If someone brutally murdered someone, then I would pray that the police would contact a judge immediately and a judge would sign such restraining order. For me, I don't think anyone could have convinced me to get an order of protection (which is requested by a person or party of people). But I knew I needed my girls to be left out of my son's lifestyle and temperament. I needed to protect. After watching how the court handled the issue, learning about domestic battery laws, and people repeatedly saying why wasn't a RO issued, I then realized that I had more than enough evidence to at least request an order of protection. I also hoped it would be a way for difficult child to get the help he needed. Dear daddy would be forced to realize son's problem I was wrong of course. Dear dad says I have the problem. Personally, I did not want the order to include myself. And my first request (that just lingered in the courts) did not include myself. But, after son broke into house after I left and car issues evolved, I realized that I could not protect the girls in a house that the law was informing me, since I held custody of difficult child, I could not exclude difficult child from the home. Middle daughter was driving to school, and I could not include the truck as son threatened damage to such while she was in summer school (the truck being in both my and soon to be ex's name), and was suspended for such. I then added my name to the request for an order of protection. I filed in 2008, and the judge asked if I would permit a civil no contact order. I though they were the same. They are not. A civil no contact order means that the other person is responsible "financially" if any further issues occur. It was not worth a dime. It could have been, if father had permitted son to realize the issues at hand. But father only said, 'he didn't believe in that" (meaning the civil no contact order). I chose the civil no contact order to also permit son to admit to his past wrongdoing, take his punishment, and move on to "adulthood". When the issues got even bigger with difficult child, I went and filed again, for an Order of Protection. It was finally granted in 2009 and is valid until 2011. difficult child also has a misdemeanor charge of violating such order. difficult child went on to commit several other criminal offenses, felony stealing(s), underage drinking and driving, illegal consumption, state trespassing, evading police, mob action, assault with a weapon/no firearm (a screwdriver of course) and so forth. Evictions and unemployment issues as well. Drinking and drug issues of course. You name it, he probably was charged with it. For me, the worst being sexual assault with the victim greater than 13 and less than 18, with less than 5 years between victim and the accused. Whhhhat I said is that about? Oh, it's a felony if they are over 5 years apart. Yup! And if they aren't? Oh its a misdemeanor? Maximum punishment? 1 year time and/or up to $2500 fine? Oh? I see! Another child (17) charged with the same offense. Okay. And? It was sexual penetration? Really? And what is that mean? Oh, from something as simple as penis touching any part of another person's skin? All the way to intercourse, etc? Gotcha. Um, please keep my son away from his sisters, until they can defend themselves. I will also inform others of the crazy damn law. Thank you very much!!!! (yea, i knew son had sexual problems long before this) RO and OP remedies are a whole other discussion of course. We had one, that difficult child attend anger management and see the counselor. He has refused. His father has refused. I stopped caring about solutions. But the state of IL did ask us as victims what we felt was appropriate, and they agreed and ordered such. Paternal side hates me for the issues. And I do mean hates me. I could care less, in the end, they got the kid (he lives there now) and they can deal with it all. Good luck with it all I say. They do let difficult child call me and ask for money before they end up paying it of course. How sweet of them! Furthermore, come the end of June, middle daughter turns 18. And, she wants to rescind the order on her behalf? Um... okay, do I still need my divorce attorney (since I was in divorce proceedings, I could not go pro bono (represent myself)? Yup, I sure do. Bummerz. What do I need an attorney for? We will see I guess. All past legal fees for this stuff still remain unresolved. I've refused to pay for the attorney fees. For me, the OP was our detachment. I even said to myself after it was ordered, "i've lost my son today". Our future still remains unseen. I'm SO curious about others experiences. [/QUOTE]
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