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The Watercooler
Forgiving others vs forgiving yourself
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 410078" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>Steely, I haven't been able to read all the response (thought processes not up & running this morning). I'd like to add that in this day & age forgiveness is highly overrated, in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>We forgive others for actions when we are unwilling to forgive ourselves. To those we offer forgiveness, many times, they don't care whether they're forgiven or not; aren't aware of what they are being forgiven for, will or cannot acknowledge their part in what you see as a hurtful incident.</p><p></p><p>Raising the tweedles with their severe abuse issues I don't see that forgiving another for that level of damage will do either of them any good. It certainly will be sought by bio mom ~ however this gives her an "out" if you will. I, personally, am not that good a person to forgive bio mom. The tweedles will do what they will do.</p><p></p><p>Forgiving yourself is entirely a different matter. In the process of that forgiveness, please don't hurt others by your confessions of wrong doing. Your son M comes to mind. Does he need to know all the ins & outs of what when on when you were at your most vulnerable?</p><p></p><p>What would you have done differently given the time, place & circumstances? Would you have been able to do differently given the circumstances? </p><p></p><p>Honey, forgive yourself & move forward. It's time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 410078, member: 393"] Steely, I haven't been able to read all the response (thought processes not up & running this morning). I'd like to add that in this day & age forgiveness is highly overrated, in my humble opinion. We forgive others for actions when we are unwilling to forgive ourselves. To those we offer forgiveness, many times, they don't care whether they're forgiven or not; aren't aware of what they are being forgiven for, will or cannot acknowledge their part in what you see as a hurtful incident. Raising the tweedles with their severe abuse issues I don't see that forgiving another for that level of damage will do either of them any good. It certainly will be sought by bio mom ~ however this gives her an "out" if you will. I, personally, am not that good a person to forgive bio mom. The tweedles will do what they will do. Forgiving yourself is entirely a different matter. In the process of that forgiveness, please don't hurt others by your confessions of wrong doing. Your son M comes to mind. Does he need to know all the ins & outs of what when on when you were at your most vulnerable? What would you have done differently given the time, place & circumstances? Would you have been able to do differently given the circumstances? Honey, forgive yourself & move forward. It's time. [/QUOTE]
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Forgiving others vs forgiving yourself
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