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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 90600" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Ditto on it is time to get a life. </p><p></p><p>Like your son, you put the blame on someone else (her husband) for her bad behavior. From what you have said, she was happy to use you before she got married, why should that change now? She doesn't have to do anything to get you to do for her. All she has to do is say she needs. Heck, I'm not even sure she needs to say she needs, a very, very subtle hint would work as well.</p><p></p><p>Do you feel the $25.00 gift certificate at Christmas was given out of love or out of duty? If it was love, the amount should not matter. If it was duty, do your duty and give this amount to her for Christmas. She didn't ask you to give her everything you did -- you did it because you wanted to. </p><p></p><p>You also compare things -- I gave this, I got that. Other than getting hurt, what good does it do to compare? If you resent that the gifts aren't equal, then stop giving so much!</p><p></p><p>Frankly, you've taught your kids to expect the sun and moon from you. You've also taught them that you have no value. It is okay if they take you for granted. It is perfectly acceptable for them to walk all over you.</p><p></p><p>Hon, it is time you pampered your husband and you. It is time that you put your foot down and let your kids know that you can only afford X amount for Christmas, birthdays, holidays. You love them and want to spend time with them and have fun, but you don't want to be their dogsitter, drugrunner, doormat.</p><p></p><p>Yes, your daughter will be angry at first. But, if there is a good relationship there (and it really does sound like there is), she'll get over it and you two will ultimately have a much healthier mother/daughter relationship.</p><p></p><p>Your easy child living at home will probably feel cheated since his older siblings have gotten so much in terms of things and what you do for them. However, he will ultimately respect you as a person more and probably come to appreciate you as his mother.</p><p></p><p>To me, a parent has one job as a parent -- to teach a child to become an adult, preferably one that is happy, caring and successful according to the child's terms.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 90600, member: 3626"] Ditto on it is time to get a life. Like your son, you put the blame on someone else (her husband) for her bad behavior. From what you have said, she was happy to use you before she got married, why should that change now? She doesn't have to do anything to get you to do for her. All she has to do is say she needs. Heck, I'm not even sure she needs to say she needs, a very, very subtle hint would work as well. Do you feel the $25.00 gift certificate at Christmas was given out of love or out of duty? If it was love, the amount should not matter. If it was duty, do your duty and give this amount to her for Christmas. She didn't ask you to give her everything you did -- you did it because you wanted to. You also compare things -- I gave this, I got that. Other than getting hurt, what good does it do to compare? If you resent that the gifts aren't equal, then stop giving so much! Frankly, you've taught your kids to expect the sun and moon from you. You've also taught them that you have no value. It is okay if they take you for granted. It is perfectly acceptable for them to walk all over you. Hon, it is time you pampered your husband and you. It is time that you put your foot down and let your kids know that you can only afford X amount for Christmas, birthdays, holidays. You love them and want to spend time with them and have fun, but you don't want to be their dogsitter, drugrunner, doormat. Yes, your daughter will be angry at first. But, if there is a good relationship there (and it really does sound like there is), she'll get over it and you two will ultimately have a much healthier mother/daughter relationship. Your easy child living at home will probably feel cheated since his older siblings have gotten so much in terms of things and what you do for them. However, he will ultimately respect you as a person more and probably come to appreciate you as his mother. To me, a parent has one job as a parent -- to teach a child to become an adult, preferably one that is happy, caring and successful according to the child's terms. [/QUOTE]
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