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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 90613" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Susan</p><p></p><p>I understand you're missing your daughter. Really. I do. </p><p></p><p>I've been a stay at home Mom for 23 yrs. (gawd that makes me feel old lol) I centered my whole life around my kids. And not to be immodest, but I was one heck of a Mom. Awesome.</p><p></p><p>Where you are now is a minor bump in the road. Even if right now it doesn't feel that way. been there done that Now the kids are out of the home you're left struggling to figure out what to do with yourself. You haven't as yet "shifted gears".</p><p></p><p>You've been a great Mom. But if now while your kids are struggling/discovering their independence you can't give them breathing room, they will begin to resent it. You risk them actually doing what you fear most, pushing you away. (My own Mom is so over bearing and nosey it drives us kids to actually avoid her most of the time)</p><p></p><p>You've been a great Mom. Now step back and give them plenty of space in which to realize just how great you've been. If they call with a request and it's inconvienent for you, let them know it. Don't jump. They'll deal with it. Honest. The world won't end.</p><p></p><p>Now before I shifted gears, I thought, well..... here I am. Kids don't need me. I haven't worked, so no career. My life was kid oriented, so no real outside interests. It was a real downer when I thought of it that way. I felt used up, unappreciated, and worthless.</p><p></p><p>Then it hit me. I am free!!! :smile: All of my kids are adults. I have no responsibility for their behavior. I have no obligations to them other than those that I want to have. I can do as I please.</p><p></p><p>Freedom.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is beginning a new phase in life. So are you.</p><p></p><p>Both of you should be enjoying it to the max.</p><p></p><p>It's great she gets along with her inlaws. Be thrilled for her. Just be you. It's not a competition. Step back and have some fun. Things will fall into place in time.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 90613, member: 84"] Susan I understand you're missing your daughter. Really. I do. I've been a stay at home Mom for 23 yrs. (gawd that makes me feel old lol) I centered my whole life around my kids. And not to be immodest, but I was one heck of a Mom. Awesome. Where you are now is a minor bump in the road. Even if right now it doesn't feel that way. been there done that Now the kids are out of the home you're left struggling to figure out what to do with yourself. You haven't as yet "shifted gears". You've been a great Mom. But if now while your kids are struggling/discovering their independence you can't give them breathing room, they will begin to resent it. You risk them actually doing what you fear most, pushing you away. (My own Mom is so over bearing and nosey it drives us kids to actually avoid her most of the time) You've been a great Mom. Now step back and give them plenty of space in which to realize just how great you've been. If they call with a request and it's inconvienent for you, let them know it. Don't jump. They'll deal with it. Honest. The world won't end. Now before I shifted gears, I thought, well..... here I am. Kids don't need me. I haven't worked, so no career. My life was kid oriented, so no real outside interests. It was a real downer when I thought of it that way. I felt used up, unappreciated, and worthless. Then it hit me. I am free!!! [img]:smile:[/img] All of my kids are adults. I have no responsibility for their behavior. I have no obligations to them other than those that I want to have. I can do as I please. Freedom. Your daughter is beginning a new phase in life. So are you. Both of you should be enjoying it to the max. It's great she gets along with her inlaws. Be thrilled for her. Just be you. It's not a competition. Step back and have some fun. Things will fall into place in time. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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