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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 90640" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Um, you are not going to like this. But I will say it anyway.</p><p></p><p>Do not give gifts if all you want is a similar gift back. That is selfish. It is not the point of gift giving. If you are not willing to give freely then it is not a gift, it is manipulation.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is. If a difficult child were saying/doing this it is what we would likely tell him/her.</p><p></p><p>The other thing is that you put your difficult child first for a long time. Ahead of the children who were behaving,a t least as far as your time and worry go. Your daughter would have to be inhuman not to resent this on some level.</p><p></p><p>Don't bring it up to her. Your words won't change her feelings, they will drive her apart. Show her you are not going to make her responsible for your happiness and well being.</p><p></p><p>Get a hobby. Get a life. Get out and do something just for you. Let the daughter and your other children work it out for themselves. When they are ready they will come to you.</p><p></p><p>If they only come to you when they need something, if you can do it freely then do it if you want to. But don't let the dog out in exchange for a bottle of alcohol from somewhere or some event. Or whatever.</p><p></p><p>It is not fair to her or yourself.</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 90640, member: 1233"] Um, you are not going to like this. But I will say it anyway. Do not give gifts if all you want is a similar gift back. That is selfish. It is not the point of gift giving. If you are not willing to give freely then it is not a gift, it is manipulation. It is what it is. If a difficult child were saying/doing this it is what we would likely tell him/her. The other thing is that you put your difficult child first for a long time. Ahead of the children who were behaving,a t least as far as your time and worry go. Your daughter would have to be inhuman not to resent this on some level. Don't bring it up to her. Your words won't change her feelings, they will drive her apart. Show her you are not going to make her responsible for your happiness and well being. Get a hobby. Get a life. Get out and do something just for you. Let the daughter and your other children work it out for themselves. When they are ready they will come to you. If they only come to you when they need something, if you can do it freely then do it if you want to. But don't let the dog out in exchange for a bottle of alcohol from somewhere or some event. Or whatever. It is not fair to her or yourself. Susie [/QUOTE]
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