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General Parenting
foster mom needs strategies - UPDATE!
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 93797" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>Hi & welcome. The number one book recommended here is The Explosive Child - has a great many ideas to deal with the day to day antics of our little wonders with-o losing your mind.</p><p></p><p>Having said that, as foster children, I would demand any & every evaluation there is out there. I would find every bit of information on these children, i.e. neglect, abuse (what kind if there were any), mental health issues in the bio family, other possible diagnosis's that were hidden from you. </p><p></p><p>I would demand a neuropsychologist evaluation. A complete physical including a neurology appointment to rule out any possible seizure activity. </p><p></p><p>Dealing with foster children involves a special kind of caring. I have 2 books that I've used with my tweedles that help; I would highly recommend Parenting the Hurt Child. Whether this child is a permanent addition to your home he will need some stability; some possible re-training, if you will, of the very basic skills that he may have missed in the bio home, for whatever reason.</p><p></p><p>And the number one question I would ask is how many placements has this child been through? This will give you some kind of clue of the level of hurt, defiance, anger, sadness you can expect from him.</p><p></p><p>husband & I spent a great deal of time teaching the tweedles how to "redo". In other words, the walking together outside holding hands. It was a safety skill they had never learned - one they needed badly. We practiced in the yard - each time there was a slip up, very calmly I'd ask for a "redo". It took months to master the skill of crossing the road together & safely. In the end it would take 2 adults; one for kt & the other for wm. kt & wm learned early that if they couldn't follow the rules, the consequence might be no park until there was another adult available to walk safely with them.</p><p></p><p>Just my take on your situation. You may have to spend a great deal of time practicing & "redoing" before you can safely walk with your 6 y/o safely.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 93797, member: 393"] Hi & welcome. The number one book recommended here is The Explosive Child - has a great many ideas to deal with the day to day antics of our little wonders with-o losing your mind. Having said that, as foster children, I would demand any & every evaluation there is out there. I would find every bit of information on these children, i.e. neglect, abuse (what kind if there were any), mental health issues in the bio family, other possible diagnosis's that were hidden from you. I would demand a neuropsychologist evaluation. A complete physical including a neurology appointment to rule out any possible seizure activity. Dealing with foster children involves a special kind of caring. I have 2 books that I've used with my tweedles that help; I would highly recommend Parenting the Hurt Child. Whether this child is a permanent addition to your home he will need some stability; some possible re-training, if you will, of the very basic skills that he may have missed in the bio home, for whatever reason. And the number one question I would ask is how many placements has this child been through? This will give you some kind of clue of the level of hurt, defiance, anger, sadness you can expect from him. husband & I spent a great deal of time teaching the tweedles how to "redo". In other words, the walking together outside holding hands. It was a safety skill they had never learned - one they needed badly. We practiced in the yard - each time there was a slip up, very calmly I'd ask for a "redo". It took months to master the skill of crossing the road together & safely. In the end it would take 2 adults; one for kt & the other for wm. kt & wm learned early that if they couldn't follow the rules, the consequence might be no park until there was another adult available to walk safely with them. Just my take on your situation. You may have to spend a great deal of time practicing & "redoing" before you can safely walk with your 6 y/o safely. [/QUOTE]
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