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Found a file of picoisms
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 122754" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Here is a great Picoism about privacy, and talking with our kids about things having to do with sexual behaviors. The context is a mom who found some things in her daughter's diary about doing things with boys. The topic was about snooping, and feeling guilty about it, and how to communicate about these things.</p><p></p><p>"The talk" is not one conversation. It is hundreds of little ones.</p><p></p><p>Because STD's are now deadly, not just inconvenient; and because STD's are now the most frightening result of unwise sexual experimentation, where pregnancy was the big scare a million years ago when I was young; you might do well to have "mini" impromptu chats with difficult child.</p><p></p><p>If you are watching television, and you see a girl acting slutty, say something, like "that kind of behavior can get that girl into a lot of trouble".</p><p></p><p>difficult child is not necessarily going to agree with you. And if she did, you'd be the last to hear it from her! But you will have given her a little sentence to put in that mental collection that in years will be known as "Stuff my mother taught me."</p><p></p><p>Privacy is important. But knowing what our kids are doing, thinking, and looking to try is our responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Where is the line between the parent who is clueless, and their kid blows up a school; and the parent who is so anal that their kid is a victim of emotional abuse because the parent will not let the kid out of their sight, and he is 47 now!!!</p><p></p><p>(And those plaid pants have GOT to go!)</p><p></p><p>OK. I'm saying this pretty extreme. But when you look at those examples, it puts you in a little more of a normal range of behavior.</p><p></p><p>Now, if it was not a diary or journal. Let's say your child had e-mail from someone you didn't know. Would you read it?</p><p></p><p>If it was another kid of the same gender, ranting about how unfair a teacher was for flunking them for cheating on a test, would you feel bad for having invaded that privacy?</p><p></p><p>If it was a person of unknown gender, and age, and they said they were looking forward to a movie at your local mall this weekend, would you feel anything in particular?</p><p></p><p>If it was an adult, that you did not know, who was planning to meet your child for sex, would you feel bad for reading this mail and invading this privacy?</p><p></p><p>How can you know which of those people it is before reading it?</p><p></p><p>My kids deserve privacy. They also deserve my protection. I HAVE TO KNOW what is going on with them for me to be able to provide that.</p><p></p><p>If they get mad at me, that's OK. I hope they have another 80 years to be mad at me for being the kind of parent I am.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 122754, member: 1514"] Here is a great Picoism about privacy, and talking with our kids about things having to do with sexual behaviors. The context is a mom who found some things in her daughter's diary about doing things with boys. The topic was about snooping, and feeling guilty about it, and how to communicate about these things. "The talk" is not one conversation. It is hundreds of little ones. Because STD's are now deadly, not just inconvenient; and because STD's are now the most frightening result of unwise sexual experimentation, where pregnancy was the big scare a million years ago when I was young; you might do well to have "mini" impromptu chats with difficult child. If you are watching television, and you see a girl acting slutty, say something, like "that kind of behavior can get that girl into a lot of trouble". difficult child is not necessarily going to agree with you. And if she did, you'd be the last to hear it from her! But you will have given her a little sentence to put in that mental collection that in years will be known as "Stuff my mother taught me." Privacy is important. But knowing what our kids are doing, thinking, and looking to try is our responsibility. Where is the line between the parent who is clueless, and their kid blows up a school; and the parent who is so anal that their kid is a victim of emotional abuse because the parent will not let the kid out of their sight, and he is 47 now!!! (And those plaid pants have GOT to go!) OK. I'm saying this pretty extreme. But when you look at those examples, it puts you in a little more of a normal range of behavior. Now, if it was not a diary or journal. Let's say your child had e-mail from someone you didn't know. Would you read it? If it was another kid of the same gender, ranting about how unfair a teacher was for flunking them for cheating on a test, would you feel bad for having invaded that privacy? If it was a person of unknown gender, and age, and they said they were looking forward to a movie at your local mall this weekend, would you feel anything in particular? If it was an adult, that you did not know, who was planning to meet your child for sex, would you feel bad for reading this mail and invading this privacy? How can you know which of those people it is before reading it? My kids deserve privacy. They also deserve my protection. I HAVE TO KNOW what is going on with them for me to be able to provide that. If they get mad at me, that's OK. I hope they have another 80 years to be mad at me for being the kind of parent I am. [/QUOTE]
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