Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Found out daughter is a sexual predator--help!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="kwioake" data-source="post: 498141" data-attributes="member: 13579"><p>Thanks again and again for everyone's support, understanding and WISDOM....My husband called the attorney yesterday....We had made an initial call when this first happened to see what the attorney thought would happen and she had said probably probation and having my daughter register as a sexual offender. Then, when nothing happened with the law, we didn't call back.</p><p></p><p>Based on everyone's advice here, my husband made an appointment. for an initial consultation next Thursday. We are going to ask about liability issues if we were to bring her back home (which is not our first choice but it could happen if we aren't able to set up anything else right away), advice on navigating through mental health/juvenile justice, what to tell the school, etc.etc.</p><p></p><p>We are hoping that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (therapist and psychiatrist) will give us more insight into what they think our daughter is even capable of grasping...I don't think she has any ability to make choices based on any kind of abstract idea of possible consequences; she has to KNOW that there are immediate/definite consequences... (I've totally given up on the idea of her doing the right thing because it is the right thing, any kind of higher morality)...</p><p></p><p>It's still is hard because she has lived in our home for 7 and a half years. Truthfully, the social worker that did our adoption was excellent in helping us have a sober view of what we were getting ourselves into but it still is hard to accept the fact that many of you have shared that sometimes love is not enough. Another thought I had was that my daughter has always found choices very difficult---what we call freedom to her often times produces intense anxiety...Choices even as simple as what flavor ice cream she wants can produce anxiety. She does tend to do much better when choices are made for her. It is just so hard to wrap my brain around because as parents, the goal usually is to groom our children for independent living....I just don't see that as a possibility in any way, shape or form with her.</p><p></p><p>Many of you have given me so much positive feedback about being strong. It feels almost unreal. I actually haven't even cried. I think that I fear if I allow myself even one tear, I may never stop. I know at some point, the emotions will hit me...have any of you experienced this? just being on auto-pilot, almost visualizing putting this stuff in a box so that I can work, parent my other two children...My 17 year old son is graduating this year and wants to be an actor. He is applying to colleges around the country and him and I are going to New York in a couple of weeks for auditions...perhaps it is a blessing to have this kind of distraction....but I feel like I must be some kind of heartless monster because I am not crying...</p><p></p><p>My husband and I do each have our own therapist who we are in regular contact with. Our boys and I are super close and they aren't seeing anyone but are very good at expressing their thoughts/feelings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kwioake, post: 498141, member: 13579"] Thanks again and again for everyone's support, understanding and WISDOM....My husband called the attorney yesterday....We had made an initial call when this first happened to see what the attorney thought would happen and she had said probably probation and having my daughter register as a sexual offender. Then, when nothing happened with the law, we didn't call back. Based on everyone's advice here, my husband made an appointment. for an initial consultation next Thursday. We are going to ask about liability issues if we were to bring her back home (which is not our first choice but it could happen if we aren't able to set up anything else right away), advice on navigating through mental health/juvenile justice, what to tell the school, etc.etc. We are hoping that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (therapist and psychiatrist) will give us more insight into what they think our daughter is even capable of grasping...I don't think she has any ability to make choices based on any kind of abstract idea of possible consequences; she has to KNOW that there are immediate/definite consequences... (I've totally given up on the idea of her doing the right thing because it is the right thing, any kind of higher morality)... It's still is hard because she has lived in our home for 7 and a half years. Truthfully, the social worker that did our adoption was excellent in helping us have a sober view of what we were getting ourselves into but it still is hard to accept the fact that many of you have shared that sometimes love is not enough. Another thought I had was that my daughter has always found choices very difficult---what we call freedom to her often times produces intense anxiety...Choices even as simple as what flavor ice cream she wants can produce anxiety. She does tend to do much better when choices are made for her. It is just so hard to wrap my brain around because as parents, the goal usually is to groom our children for independent living....I just don't see that as a possibility in any way, shape or form with her. Many of you have given me so much positive feedback about being strong. It feels almost unreal. I actually haven't even cried. I think that I fear if I allow myself even one tear, I may never stop. I know at some point, the emotions will hit me...have any of you experienced this? just being on auto-pilot, almost visualizing putting this stuff in a box so that I can work, parent my other two children...My 17 year old son is graduating this year and wants to be an actor. He is applying to colleges around the country and him and I are going to New York in a couple of weeks for auditions...perhaps it is a blessing to have this kind of distraction....but I feel like I must be some kind of heartless monster because I am not crying... My husband and I do each have our own therapist who we are in regular contact with. Our boys and I are super close and they aren't seeing anyone but are very good at expressing their thoughts/feelings. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Found out daughter is a sexual predator--help!
Top