Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity.
So, this is the concept that eventually I will put between the stimulus and the feelings. Even in memories. I am still responding because I am still responding. I can remember "gaslighting" each time before I respond, and no longer react to her attempts to hurt me.
I want to write here, still, "why does she do it?" But I know why.
My Mother asked me something similar in the weeks before she died, "why is she like that, ____" (insert my real name here, please, in the diminutive form. Copa will not do.)
They do it, because they do it. They look for the result in us. We comply or not. That is the lesson.
Thank you, Cedar.
