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Failure to Thrive
Fraternal Twin with conduct disorder, just devastated
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 693787" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>While the influence of her genetics may be behind your daughter's problems, NOBODY can say. There is yet too much to work out.</p><p></p><p>Even if it is genetic, environment shapes genetics. In human beings there is seldom only a genetic influence. Even in schizophrenia. Your daughter may well begin to choose environmental influences, that help, not hurt her. We do not know. She has not yet written her story.</p><p></p><p>In my family, my father had 3 brothers and 3 sisters. Every single one of them was an alcoholic. And one? When he was about 48 married a wonderful woman (his 3rd marriage.) He was headed down the exact same path as his brothers and sisters, when he made one choice, that saved his life. His life thereafter was a marvel. He not only seemed to have the same genetics as did his siblings, he had been making the same choices. Until he made one different choice.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying it is not genetic. What I am saying is that it may well not be the kind of genetic determination that cannot be modified by her own set of choices, or environment. Or it may not be genetic at all. She could well have had an experience about which you do not know. Or something that she experienced, and interpreted in a way that is causing her enormous pain or confusion.</p><p></p><p>There are people who turn to crime for example that never, ever had a genetic influence to make this choice. And then? They can decide to change and they do. Or there are people who have "terrible" genetics, like me, for example--and define their lives by integrity and hope--or try to, because they choose it.</p><p></p><p>This is a difference in point of view between us that has not a thing in the world to do with you, rebjoh.</p><p></p><p>It may give you a sense of peace and comfort to believe your daughter is suffering inevitably because of a genetic influence. Or not. To say it may not be genetic, is not to blame a parent. To me, it is to offer realistic hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 693787, member: 18958"] While the influence of her genetics may be behind your daughter's problems, NOBODY can say. There is yet too much to work out. Even if it is genetic, environment shapes genetics. In human beings there is seldom only a genetic influence. Even in schizophrenia. Your daughter may well begin to choose environmental influences, that help, not hurt her. We do not know. She has not yet written her story. In my family, my father had 3 brothers and 3 sisters. Every single one of them was an alcoholic. And one? When he was about 48 married a wonderful woman (his 3rd marriage.) He was headed down the exact same path as his brothers and sisters, when he made one choice, that saved his life. His life thereafter was a marvel. He not only seemed to have the same genetics as did his siblings, he had been making the same choices. Until he made one different choice. I am not saying it is not genetic. What I am saying is that it may well not be the kind of genetic determination that cannot be modified by her own set of choices, or environment. Or it may not be genetic at all. She could well have had an experience about which you do not know. Or something that she experienced, and interpreted in a way that is causing her enormous pain or confusion. There are people who turn to crime for example that never, ever had a genetic influence to make this choice. And then? They can decide to change and they do. Or there are people who have "terrible" genetics, like me, for example--and define their lives by integrity and hope--or try to, because they choose it. This is a difference in point of view between us that has not a thing in the world to do with you, rebjoh. It may give you a sense of peace and comfort to believe your daughter is suffering inevitably because of a genetic influence. Or not. To say it may not be genetic, is not to blame a parent. To me, it is to offer realistic hope. [/QUOTE]
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Fraternal Twin with conduct disorder, just devastated
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