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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 358165" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I had a best friend who was like this, when we were 15. My mother was scandalised at my friend's behaviour and began to stop passing on messages or letting me spend time with her. The thing is, I was already smart enough to not be led astray by her.</p><p></p><p>I remember my two good friends from where I grew up staying for the weekend at our new house. One friend I am still in touch with, she was the celebrant for easy child 2/difficult child 2's wedding. But this friend in question - she could not be controlled. However, unlike G my friend was a lot more capable in practical terms.</p><p></p><p>I remember when my friend stayed, she left her skirt on a dolls' cradle I had in my room. The skirt spread out like a mini-bedspread for the dolls. My friend made her own clothes, which is how she had a skirt that was as short as she wanted it. Seriously, that skirt looked like a wide belt, not a skirt. She wore that skirt to church on the Sunday morning, and my friends at our new church were as scandalised as my mother had been. I had wanted my friends at church to like my friends from my old town, but my short-skirted friend had no chance; she was so determined to flirt, to be seen as sexy, to be seen as sophisticated, that she disgusted everyone.</p><p></p><p>Very sad, really.</p><p></p><p>But nothing could be done, until she worked this out for herself. No parental controls ever worked. And it wasn't a case of all kids in that family running wild; my friend was the only kid in her (large) family that went off the rails at all.</p><p></p><p>I believe she turned out OK. Got married young, divorced young, had kids young. But she was always practical and capable, plus I think she eventually grew up.</p><p></p><p>She had been using sex to boost her own self-esteem. If guys slept with her, then it meant she was loved, she was attractive, she had value in someone else's eyes. And she dressed provocatively and flirted, in order to bring in more guys to make her feel good about herself. This would have rebounded and made her feel bad because she knew this wasn't the right way to behave.</p><p></p><p>She was smart. I'm sure that eventually she sorted herself out. But in the meantime, it as like watching a train wreck in slow motion.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, but all you can do is what you are already doing. It's not your fault, sometimes this just happens. She has to realise things for herself, and maybe if she keeps trying to apply for emancipation, she will learn through others that it's not all it's cracked up to be. Also, it isn't what she is really craving. It only seems to be.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 358165, member: 1991"] I had a best friend who was like this, when we were 15. My mother was scandalised at my friend's behaviour and began to stop passing on messages or letting me spend time with her. The thing is, I was already smart enough to not be led astray by her. I remember my two good friends from where I grew up staying for the weekend at our new house. One friend I am still in touch with, she was the celebrant for easy child 2/difficult child 2's wedding. But this friend in question - she could not be controlled. However, unlike G my friend was a lot more capable in practical terms. I remember when my friend stayed, she left her skirt on a dolls' cradle I had in my room. The skirt spread out like a mini-bedspread for the dolls. My friend made her own clothes, which is how she had a skirt that was as short as she wanted it. Seriously, that skirt looked like a wide belt, not a skirt. She wore that skirt to church on the Sunday morning, and my friends at our new church were as scandalised as my mother had been. I had wanted my friends at church to like my friends from my old town, but my short-skirted friend had no chance; she was so determined to flirt, to be seen as sexy, to be seen as sophisticated, that she disgusted everyone. Very sad, really. But nothing could be done, until she worked this out for herself. No parental controls ever worked. And it wasn't a case of all kids in that family running wild; my friend was the only kid in her (large) family that went off the rails at all. I believe she turned out OK. Got married young, divorced young, had kids young. But she was always practical and capable, plus I think she eventually grew up. She had been using sex to boost her own self-esteem. If guys slept with her, then it meant she was loved, she was attractive, she had value in someone else's eyes. And she dressed provocatively and flirted, in order to bring in more guys to make her feel good about herself. This would have rebounded and made her feel bad because she knew this wasn't the right way to behave. She was smart. I'm sure that eventually she sorted herself out. But in the meantime, it as like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I'm sorry, but all you can do is what you are already doing. It's not your fault, sometimes this just happens. She has to realise things for herself, and maybe if she keeps trying to apply for emancipation, she will learn through others that it's not all it's cracked up to be. Also, it isn't what she is really craving. It only seems to be. Marg [/QUOTE]
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