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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 616550" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Like you, SuZir, initially I was so sure of my position that keeping a stiff upper lip is best. But the more I wrote in defense of that position, the more I couldn't stop thinking about the comfort and strength to be found in admitting that we have been traumatized, and need to be treated gently. </p><p></p><p>Eventually, I concluded that, though it is uncomfortable to be identified as someone who is struggling with, or who has survived, something terrible...that is where we find the strength to change our interpretations of the meaning of the thing.</p><p></p><p>And that was when I realized I was wrong in thinking I believed a stiff upper lip was the way to go. </p><p></p><p>Think of all the shaming perceptions that have been changed by victims sharing the pain of their reality and changing things for themselves and for the rest of us, too. Racism, cancer, </p><p>abuse of any kind, the fight for rights to marriage or to the vote, rules to limit the worst of the horrors of war.</p><p></p><p>So, it isn't about lying on the floor with our thumbs in our mouths, but it is about facing our pain, about confronting injustice, about creating change in the definition of what a thing is and how to cope with it.</p><p></p><p>Valuable post, SuZir.</p><p></p><p>I have learned to take courage and even, pride, in my own story from answering.</p><p></p><p>So, I am stronger, now.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 616550, member: 17461"] Like you, SuZir, initially I was so sure of my position that keeping a stiff upper lip is best. But the more I wrote in defense of that position, the more I couldn't stop thinking about the comfort and strength to be found in admitting that we have been traumatized, and need to be treated gently. Eventually, I concluded that, though it is uncomfortable to be identified as someone who is struggling with, or who has survived, something terrible...that is where we find the strength to change our interpretations of the meaning of the thing. And that was when I realized I was wrong in thinking I believed a stiff upper lip was the way to go. Think of all the shaming perceptions that have been changed by victims sharing the pain of their reality and changing things for themselves and for the rest of us, too. Racism, cancer, abuse of any kind, the fight for rights to marriage or to the vote, rules to limit the worst of the horrors of war. So, it isn't about lying on the floor with our thumbs in our mouths, but it is about facing our pain, about confronting injustice, about creating change in the definition of what a thing is and how to cope with it. Valuable post, SuZir. I have learned to take courage and even, pride, in my own story from answering. So, I am stronger, now. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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