Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Frustrated
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 443785" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Exactly.</p><p></p><p>Rainbird... I understand, from a different perspective... Onyxx's behavior went so far over the line, that husband felt he no longer had a choice (well, he did - take the action that he took, or continue putting up with the abuse, and letting Jett and I also put up with it). He said no more.</p><p></p><p>After two weeks, Onyxx called BM. This is the woman who told her, flat out, "I don't care about you", suggested Onyxx call the man who allegedly molested her, took that man's <em>side</em> over her daughter's even when CPS said they thought it happened, even married the guy... Did not make any effort whatsoever to contact her daughter for <em>two years</em> - because Onyxx would no longer do her bidding and make life difficult for husband, on BM's cue. Because Onyxx saw what reality was, and who loved her enough to try and keep her safe.</p><p></p><p>BUT - Onyxx was angry (still is) at husband, because he refused to put up with the bovine manure anymore. husband found Onyxx a safe place to stay, with someone who is actually trained to handle extremely troubled teen girls. husband is paying for this. It costs more per week than he gets in child support per month for two kids - not just Onyxx. And since BM is <em>always</em> looking for new stuff to throw at husband, in an attempt to have him put in jail (she's been trying for 9 years this month - succeeded in a 3-day stay for him, 2 years back, because of a huge mess up in the courts) - well, who better to help Onyxx get revenge on husband? And, bonus, she has finally found something that will make BM love her again.</p><p></p><p>No. Because, no matter how this turns out, somewhere along the line, Onyxx isn't going to do what BM wants, and she will be rejected again.</p><p></p><p>I say all this because your daughter has it great right now. But daddy won't live forever; and daughter's friends will grow up, straighten out or get even more crooked and go to jail, and eventually, she will have to do for herself. And she won't know how. What she <em>will</em> know is that someone out there loved her enough to try to teach her appropriate things. Someone loved her enough to say no - to yell and scream. To <em>not</em> put up with the garbage.</p><p></p><p>I won't say it will all be roses, and she will act on that. But she knows you love her. Just as Onyxx, hurt as she is right now by what she perceives as another huge rejection, knows that husband and I love her. It's buried. But it's there.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs, hon. It's not easy, I know. And it may continue to get harder for a while... Because the only way to make it not hurt at all is to become numb. That's no way to live. Detachment helps... But hard as I have tried to detach from Onyxx's drama... I'm only partially successful... And I've been trying for a LONG time...</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 443785, member: 6705"] Exactly. Rainbird... I understand, from a different perspective... Onyxx's behavior went so far over the line, that husband felt he no longer had a choice (well, he did - take the action that he took, or continue putting up with the abuse, and letting Jett and I also put up with it). He said no more. After two weeks, Onyxx called BM. This is the woman who told her, flat out, "I don't care about you", suggested Onyxx call the man who allegedly molested her, took that man's [I]side[/I] over her daughter's even when CPS said they thought it happened, even married the guy... Did not make any effort whatsoever to contact her daughter for [I]two years[/I] - because Onyxx would no longer do her bidding and make life difficult for husband, on BM's cue. Because Onyxx saw what reality was, and who loved her enough to try and keep her safe. BUT - Onyxx was angry (still is) at husband, because he refused to put up with the bovine manure anymore. husband found Onyxx a safe place to stay, with someone who is actually trained to handle extremely troubled teen girls. husband is paying for this. It costs more per week than he gets in child support per month for two kids - not just Onyxx. And since BM is [I]always[/I] looking for new stuff to throw at husband, in an attempt to have him put in jail (she's been trying for 9 years this month - succeeded in a 3-day stay for him, 2 years back, because of a huge mess up in the courts) - well, who better to help Onyxx get revenge on husband? And, bonus, she has finally found something that will make BM love her again. No. Because, no matter how this turns out, somewhere along the line, Onyxx isn't going to do what BM wants, and she will be rejected again. I say all this because your daughter has it great right now. But daddy won't live forever; and daughter's friends will grow up, straighten out or get even more crooked and go to jail, and eventually, she will have to do for herself. And she won't know how. What she [I]will[/I] know is that someone out there loved her enough to try to teach her appropriate things. Someone loved her enough to say no - to yell and scream. To [I]not[/I] put up with the garbage. I won't say it will all be roses, and she will act on that. But she knows you love her. Just as Onyxx, hurt as she is right now by what she perceives as another huge rejection, knows that husband and I love her. It's buried. But it's there. Gentle hugs, hon. It's not easy, I know. And it may continue to get harder for a while... Because the only way to make it not hurt at all is to become numb. That's no way to live. Detachment helps... But hard as I have tried to detach from Onyxx's drama... I'm only partially successful... And I've been trying for a LONG time... :hugs: [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Frustrated
Top