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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 169441" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>My 11 yr old son was diagnosed with severe anxiety last fall. He displayed part of what your daugher is going through. He chews on his shirt sleeve (or even mine) at times. We have given him gum to chew (has permission to chew at school) when he feels like chewing. </p><p> </p><p>The main thing of similarity was the feelings of harming. My difficult child had impulses to harm himself. At the center of our trouble his body had told him to jump from the third floor balcony at the Mall of America. Like your daughter, he did not want to harm anyone, even himself. He was able to stop himself but was so upset about it I had to take him down to ground level and outside to calm him down.</p><p> </p><p>It is a blessing that your daughter can tell you what is happening - I wonder how many kids who do harm themselves or others never felt comfortable asking for help about these thoughts and they finally got too strong?</p><p> </p><p>My son finally begged for help - these thoughts of self harm were starting to point toward actions that could kill him (like wanting to open the car door on the freeway). He was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and put on Flouxatine (Prozac) and Clonazepam. These are not right for all kids but worked like magic for my son. We are now taking him off the Clonazepam which is meant as a short term medication. At first I saw problems with withdrawing but we slowed down the cut back rate and he is doing great.</p><p></p><p>The psychiatric hospital and his psychiatrist have given him coping skills to help him keep these impulses at bay. He is doing very well with these.</p><p> </p><p>As I said, my son has only part of what your daughter is experiencing. However, I do know and feel the frustration of a child who seems to defy everything. I think when a child has as much going on as yours does, anything introduced, even a chore, can be overwhelming. As Marguerite stated, she is not trying to be defiant. I think she is just having a hard time adjusting or figuring out how the new item will fit into her world. "But if I do this now, I will miss out watching the t.v. show" These kids may already have the agenda for their day planned in their minds and when you add something, it is just too hard to meet their own plans and add yours also. I feel like that at work somethimes when the tasks come pouring in and I feel I don't have enough time to meet all the deadlines.</p><p> </p><p>10 years old is a good age to start including her in planning. Sit down with her to plan the day - she may need it in writing - include free times that she gets to choose what to do ("I'm going to clean the kitchen from 9:00 am - 9:30 am, do you want to help me with that or would you rather play a game with your brother? At 9:30, I would like you to help me with the laundry and then at 10:00 we will have a snack. After that, you get to plan what you want to do until 11:00." She may enjoy writing a schedule on a poster board. Get different color markers.</p><p> </p><p>It sounds like she is a good big sister - praise her for that and point out that it is so helpful to have such a caring big girl in the house. Maybe at night after the little brother is put to bed, you sit down with her to plan the next day or just have a snack and girl talk.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you find some answers soon. The right diagnosis is a biggy and others on board will know more about the medications than I do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 169441, member: 5096"] My 11 yr old son was diagnosed with severe anxiety last fall. He displayed part of what your daugher is going through. He chews on his shirt sleeve (or even mine) at times. We have given him gum to chew (has permission to chew at school) when he feels like chewing. The main thing of similarity was the feelings of harming. My difficult child had impulses to harm himself. At the center of our trouble his body had told him to jump from the third floor balcony at the Mall of America. Like your daughter, he did not want to harm anyone, even himself. He was able to stop himself but was so upset about it I had to take him down to ground level and outside to calm him down. It is a blessing that your daughter can tell you what is happening - I wonder how many kids who do harm themselves or others never felt comfortable asking for help about these thoughts and they finally got too strong? My son finally begged for help - these thoughts of self harm were starting to point toward actions that could kill him (like wanting to open the car door on the freeway). He was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and put on Flouxatine (Prozac) and Clonazepam. These are not right for all kids but worked like magic for my son. We are now taking him off the Clonazepam which is meant as a short term medication. At first I saw problems with withdrawing but we slowed down the cut back rate and he is doing great. The psychiatric hospital and his psychiatrist have given him coping skills to help him keep these impulses at bay. He is doing very well with these. As I said, my son has only part of what your daughter is experiencing. However, I do know and feel the frustration of a child who seems to defy everything. I think when a child has as much going on as yours does, anything introduced, even a chore, can be overwhelming. As Marguerite stated, she is not trying to be defiant. I think she is just having a hard time adjusting or figuring out how the new item will fit into her world. "But if I do this now, I will miss out watching the t.v. show" These kids may already have the agenda for their day planned in their minds and when you add something, it is just too hard to meet their own plans and add yours also. I feel like that at work somethimes when the tasks come pouring in and I feel I don't have enough time to meet all the deadlines. 10 years old is a good age to start including her in planning. Sit down with her to plan the day - she may need it in writing - include free times that she gets to choose what to do ("I'm going to clean the kitchen from 9:00 am - 9:30 am, do you want to help me with that or would you rather play a game with your brother? At 9:30, I would like you to help me with the laundry and then at 10:00 we will have a snack. After that, you get to plan what you want to do until 11:00." She may enjoy writing a schedule on a poster board. Get different color markers. It sounds like she is a good big sister - praise her for that and point out that it is so helpful to have such a caring big girl in the house. Maybe at night after the little brother is put to bed, you sit down with her to plan the next day or just have a snack and girl talk. I hope you find some answers soon. The right diagnosis is a biggy and others on board will know more about the medications than I do. [/QUOTE]
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