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Full blown panic attack
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 662080" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Lila I am so sorry for your fear. We all understand that kind of bone deep fear. You can get through it to the other side and you can live with not knowing. That is a focus you can begin: living with uncertainty. </p><p></p><p>Pema Chodron's Living beautifully with uncertainty and change is a book i recommend. Also another good one of hers is When Things Fall Apart. Start filling your mind with this type of thinking. </p><p></p><p>One quote from her that shifts the focus of the bad things that are happening back to us and to a higher level of seeing: nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. </p><p></p><p>Google her. There is a lot of her work that has helped me. </p><p></p><p>I so agree with others who talk about physical exertion like exercise and just digging. I call it Weed Therapy. When things were really bad with Difficult Child I would go out in the yard on my hands and knees and dig weeds. No roundup for me, just endless digging. I also used to clean the kitchen floor on my hands and knees a lot. I think the combination of the scrubbing and pulling and being on my hands and knees and then seeing some progress behind me was important. Keeping things very clean and simple when everything was so very hard. </p><p></p><p>I found that if I could change my thinking then I could change my behavior in time. My feelings were separate from my thinking and acting and I have learned more about feeling my true feelings but not acting or reacting to those feelings...instead letting time pass and waiting and using silence to calm me. </p><p></p><p>Just a few thoughts and tools that you can consider when you are ready. This stuff is very very hard so be gentle and loving and patient with yourself. You are 51% and your daughter is 49%. </p><p></p><p>We can't keep other people safe. We can never know what can happen to anyone we love in an instant. Living with that uncertainty takes practice and time. We're here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 662080, member: 17542"] Lila I am so sorry for your fear. We all understand that kind of bone deep fear. You can get through it to the other side and you can live with not knowing. That is a focus you can begin: living with uncertainty. Pema Chodron's Living beautifully with uncertainty and change is a book i recommend. Also another good one of hers is When Things Fall Apart. Start filling your mind with this type of thinking. One quote from her that shifts the focus of the bad things that are happening back to us and to a higher level of seeing: nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. Google her. There is a lot of her work that has helped me. I so agree with others who talk about physical exertion like exercise and just digging. I call it Weed Therapy. When things were really bad with Difficult Child I would go out in the yard on my hands and knees and dig weeds. No roundup for me, just endless digging. I also used to clean the kitchen floor on my hands and knees a lot. I think the combination of the scrubbing and pulling and being on my hands and knees and then seeing some progress behind me was important. Keeping things very clean and simple when everything was so very hard. I found that if I could change my thinking then I could change my behavior in time. My feelings were separate from my thinking and acting and I have learned more about feeling my true feelings but not acting or reacting to those feelings...instead letting time pass and waiting and using silence to calm me. Just a few thoughts and tools that you can consider when you are ready. This stuff is very very hard so be gentle and loving and patient with yourself. You are 51% and your daughter is 49%. We can't keep other people safe. We can never know what can happen to anyone we love in an instant. Living with that uncertainty takes practice and time. We're here for you. [/QUOTE]
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