LucyJ, think that's an introvert's trait because introverts don't go in for small talk much. They do like deep, compelling conversations with close, close people (and they are careful who they get close to). I'm a lot like you that way. I'd stay on the sidelines if a group was talking small talk.
I'm fine in real life self-help groups though! There are two reasons. One is that the topic is picked and I don't have to search my head to come up with something inane to say, like, "So...what do you do for a living?" when I don't know the person and, if I'm being honest, don't care about the answer and only wish to run and hide with a book. Another reason is that I am interested in any topic that is about learning who we are and I also like to help other people. So I'm ok in THAT kind of a group.
Don't take me to a party. I'll try to make myself smaller than I already am (and I'm small!...lol) and keep looking at the clock until it's safe to go. I have no interest in socializing party-style and I especially get bored when people start to get drunk. I hate small talk, having to behave by a set of social rules that I don't understand, and meeting new people that I probably have nothing in common with and may never see again!
I also often get pulled into a game called, "Let's get Pam drunk." Because usually somebody will spill the beans that I've never been drunk ever, that really seems to get some people absolutely consumed with trying to change that on that night. This happened at a work party once. I didn't drink a sip, but felt immensely irritated and uncomfotable with EVERYONE, boss included, trying to get me to take a shot. Is that what it's called? A shot? Anyway, I wanted to disappear! I left after everyone started getting drunk themselves. I just can't do "party." Give me my computer, my Kindle, something to study...one close person or some time alone...I'm good 
. A quiet day on the beach with just my family is a party to me.
