Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
funeral and kids
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 419585" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>I think both kids and parents are different now. And it's happened fairly recently and it's NOT good. My own children are 30 and 35 now and it wasn't like this when they were kids either! Like someone else said, it started when we began to be obsessed with promoting children's precious self-esteem at all costs. Parents tried to be their childs' "friend" instead of a parent, didn't want to make them play by the rules because then the child might not <em>like</em> them anymore! And you don't ever tell them "No!" and mean it because that might make them feel bad! Praise them lavishly for every last little thing they do until it becomes meaningless and they think the world revolves around them because they are so "special"! They were afraid to ever raise their voice, talk to them sternly or correct them when they did wrong ... because it might damage their self-esteem and make them feel bad about themselves! Pump them up and empower them at all costs! And people with good intentions tried to do things to assure childrens rights and protect them from abuse. But then, as usual, it was carried to ridiculous lengths, they went completely overboard, they bent over backwards so far that now all authority has been taken (or handed over voluntarily) from the parents and the schools and given to the kids! The kids are in charge and they know it! Certainly not all of them, but so many have no respect for authority, no respect for the law, for their parents or teachers, no desire for education, no work ethic at all but have such a sense of entitlement! How has this been allowed to happen?</p><p> </p><p>I tried to raise my own children pretty much the same way that I was raised (with a few modifications). When I was a kid, there was no doubt who was in charge ... and it sure wasn't us! I would have never EVER dared to mouth off at my mother, much less call her names! That was a line you just didn't cross, and we knew darned well that it wouldn't be tolerated. And because we knew this, we were never brave enough to try it! It wouldn't have been tolerated even once! Parents (and teachers) DEMANDED respect and a child who dared to cross that line would soon regret it and probably wouldn't try that again. Even when I was a teenager, if I had ever dared to disrespect my mother (or heaven forbid, call her names!) I KNEW sure as anything, my father would have knocked me right across the room! Right or wrong, that's what he would have done! And he didn't give a rats rear about our "self esteem"! And if I had ever dared to tell him that I was going to ignore the rules and do exactly what I pleased, he would have kicked my butt right out the door! You just didn't disrespect your parents in their own home when they were providing a roof over your head, the food you ate and the clothes you wore! And this wasn't just my parents, this was everybody's parents! </p><p> </p><p>And I never tolerated disrespect from my own children either! They could speak their minds but there was a line that I would not allow them to cross and they knew it. This started when they were very small and there should be no doubt who is in charge. If one of my children had gotten very disrespectful, mouthing off, or had ever dared to call me a name, even once, they would have gotten their butts whipped badly enough that they would have been afraid to ever do it again! I'm not saying you have to be a dictator or be abusive, but you certainly do not tolerate it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 419585, member: 1883"] I think both kids and parents are different now. And it's happened fairly recently and it's NOT good. My own children are 30 and 35 now and it wasn't like this when they were kids either! Like someone else said, it started when we began to be obsessed with promoting children's precious self-esteem at all costs. Parents tried to be their childs' "friend" instead of a parent, didn't want to make them play by the rules because then the child might not [I]like[/I] them anymore! And you don't ever tell them "No!" and mean it because that might make them feel bad! Praise them lavishly for every last little thing they do until it becomes meaningless and they think the world revolves around them because they are so "special"! They were afraid to ever raise their voice, talk to them sternly or correct them when they did wrong ... because it might damage their self-esteem and make them feel bad about themselves! Pump them up and empower them at all costs! And people with good intentions tried to do things to assure childrens rights and protect them from abuse. But then, as usual, it was carried to ridiculous lengths, they went completely overboard, they bent over backwards so far that now all authority has been taken (or handed over voluntarily) from the parents and the schools and given to the kids! The kids are in charge and they know it! Certainly not all of them, but so many have no respect for authority, no respect for the law, for their parents or teachers, no desire for education, no work ethic at all but have such a sense of entitlement! How has this been allowed to happen? I tried to raise my own children pretty much the same way that I was raised (with a few modifications). When I was a kid, there was no doubt who was in charge ... and it sure wasn't us! I would have never EVER dared to mouth off at my mother, much less call her names! That was a line you just didn't cross, and we knew darned well that it wouldn't be tolerated. And because we knew this, we were never brave enough to try it! It wouldn't have been tolerated even once! Parents (and teachers) DEMANDED respect and a child who dared to cross that line would soon regret it and probably wouldn't try that again. Even when I was a teenager, if I had ever dared to disrespect my mother (or heaven forbid, call her names!) I KNEW sure as anything, my father would have knocked me right across the room! Right or wrong, that's what he would have done! And he didn't give a rats rear about our "self esteem"! And if I had ever dared to tell him that I was going to ignore the rules and do exactly what I pleased, he would have kicked my butt right out the door! You just didn't disrespect your parents in their own home when they were providing a roof over your head, the food you ate and the clothes you wore! And this wasn't just my parents, this was everybody's parents! And I never tolerated disrespect from my own children either! They could speak their minds but there was a line that I would not allow them to cross and they knew it. This started when they were very small and there should be no doubt who is in charge. If one of my children had gotten very disrespectful, mouthing off, or had ever dared to call me a name, even once, they would have gotten their butts whipped badly enough that they would have been afraid to ever do it again! I'm not saying you have to be a dictator or be abusive, but you certainly do not tolerate it! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
funeral and kids
Top