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Genie's out of the bottle!
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 580500" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>If J had been neurotypical, calm, quiet, polite all the time, we would have been well accepted and integrated. As it is, most of the people we encounter in the village are pleasent, friendly, polite... no sense that we are unwelcome intruders. However, under the surface, there is much gossip (about everyone, not just us), much judgement based on prejudice and no knowledge, an indissoluble sense of identity and belonging to which of course we could never lay claim. There are some really kindly old folks in the village, who have been supportive of me against my ghastly neighbours, for example. I must not give the impression it is hell on earth!! But in terms of the school, and their complete lack of understanding about ADHD and their inability to step outside of their rigid framework that if a child plays up it is because the parents are not doing their job... well, there I am facing a monolith that is never going to crumble. The learning curve necessary is just too steep. And I am angry about the sneaky, unpleasant tactics of this assistant in going to complain about me to the mayor's office (because the after school care is managed by them). Even there, I wonder if there is more to it.... could she be worried because I said to her something about it not being good for J to be punished all the time and she fears I may accuse her of something?? I really don't know. But I do know I have to start winding down our experience here. Too bad I can't sell my house, which is really now seeming like a burdensome thing...! I may be able to let it.</p><p>J is ADAMANT he wants to stay in France, even if we move from the village, and not go back to Morocco where he says he "doesn't understand what people are saying" <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Of course he would learn Arabic fluently, and this would be very good for him and his future possibilities - already from spending holidays there he can have simple, basic conversations. But there is not going to be the services available that there would be here... I have found a neuro-psychologist in the local big city (an hour and a half away) and will get a complete evaluation of J. This may make things clearer for us all.</p><p>Oh and your story Three Shadows... yes, it made me smile even though of course it was a horrible experience for a child. It would be better now, in most places and in big cities. But the French do, yes, remain... a little... chauvinistic.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 580500, member: 11227"] If J had been neurotypical, calm, quiet, polite all the time, we would have been well accepted and integrated. As it is, most of the people we encounter in the village are pleasent, friendly, polite... no sense that we are unwelcome intruders. However, under the surface, there is much gossip (about everyone, not just us), much judgement based on prejudice and no knowledge, an indissoluble sense of identity and belonging to which of course we could never lay claim. There are some really kindly old folks in the village, who have been supportive of me against my ghastly neighbours, for example. I must not give the impression it is hell on earth!! But in terms of the school, and their complete lack of understanding about ADHD and their inability to step outside of their rigid framework that if a child plays up it is because the parents are not doing their job... well, there I am facing a monolith that is never going to crumble. The learning curve necessary is just too steep. And I am angry about the sneaky, unpleasant tactics of this assistant in going to complain about me to the mayor's office (because the after school care is managed by them). Even there, I wonder if there is more to it.... could she be worried because I said to her something about it not being good for J to be punished all the time and she fears I may accuse her of something?? I really don't know. But I do know I have to start winding down our experience here. Too bad I can't sell my house, which is really now seeming like a burdensome thing...! I may be able to let it. J is ADAMANT he wants to stay in France, even if we move from the village, and not go back to Morocco where he says he "doesn't understand what people are saying" :) Of course he would learn Arabic fluently, and this would be very good for him and his future possibilities - already from spending holidays there he can have simple, basic conversations. But there is not going to be the services available that there would be here... I have found a neuro-psychologist in the local big city (an hour and a half away) and will get a complete evaluation of J. This may make things clearer for us all. Oh and your story Three Shadows... yes, it made me smile even though of course it was a horrible experience for a child. It would be better now, in most places and in big cities. But the French do, yes, remain... a little... chauvinistic. [/QUOTE]
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