Hi Krazy,
Welcome, this is the right place to come to.
Let me add my voice to the chorus: mean it when you say you won't bail him out. You have to steel yourself to resist. It will be hard, but remember that going bail is enabling him to continue, buying you more (and worse) trouble down the road and endangering your 12yo. And do call the cops when you catch him smoking/drinking.
Very best wishes, and we're pulling for you. We all know what it's like.
