I was wondering her age, but you answered it in your second post. 41. Oh my.
“ She is now 41 and I have done all I can and more. “
I think that comment kind of says it all.
I made the mistake for years thinking I just hadn’t helped enough or in the right away. Wrong. A horrible error in my thinking.
What May have helped a little bit recently in my situation is : 1. Detachment 2. Letting her suffer the consequences of her actions (scary…but needed)
And ironically snd sadly, she likely will have to repeat suffering the consequences of her poor decisions repeatedly. I hope not…but it is what it is.
Mental illness is an extraordinarily difficult thing. But like with all very difficult things, the person affected will have to decide on their own to seek help and push hard to do better…get healthier.
You can’t do it for them. You can’t control another adult. You have tried. We all have. You can only control yourself.
You can control your own thoughts, behaviors, actions and MUCH of your life. It’s hard as heck…but can you detach from this worry? What do you like to do? What brings you joy? Happiness?
As a side note…my daughter often tells people how terrible I am. I think in recent times it backfired on her a bit so she is doing it less. But…who knows. It’s just an immature (for lack of a better word) way of them not able to cope with reality in any way, shape or form. Honestly, I no longer care. Detachment is great. This and setting boundaries are very empowering/strengthening.
Sending loving thoughts.
