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Substance Abuse
Getting some emotional distance....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 629775" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Thanks MWM I agree with everything you said! Kind of depressing phone call with difficult child tonight. The good news I guess is he is being more honest with us.... but I tried to talk to him about figuring out why he has to break the rules.... and really we got some insight into his attitude about rules which is smart people break stupid rules. OK there are many great people (he gave the example of Martin Luther King) who break rules.... and certainly I do think there are rules that should be broken. But those great people were breaking rules for a principle they believed in and you can hardly say that about difficult child.</p><p></p><p>So his attitude is that he will do what he has to to fiinish with probation.... it is clear from the conversation he has no long term plan to stay sober or to really figure out his need to break rules. He is going to live life on his terms and by his rules..... and my guess is that means a future with a lot of jail time!</p><p></p><p>So I am not involved at this point with solving any of this or finding him treatment and I am just going to continue to try and build a relationship with him and stay out of solving his problems. I will probably continue to try and encourage him to do the right things.... but I am more and more getting less invested in the outcome because like you said I have no control over him, what he does or what decisions he makes.</p><p></p><p>It makes it really clear that we need to protect ourselves and our daughter.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 629775, member: 15801"] Thanks MWM I agree with everything you said! Kind of depressing phone call with difficult child tonight. The good news I guess is he is being more honest with us.... but I tried to talk to him about figuring out why he has to break the rules.... and really we got some insight into his attitude about rules which is smart people break stupid rules. OK there are many great people (he gave the example of Martin Luther King) who break rules.... and certainly I do think there are rules that should be broken. But those great people were breaking rules for a principle they believed in and you can hardly say that about difficult child. So his attitude is that he will do what he has to to fiinish with probation.... it is clear from the conversation he has no long term plan to stay sober or to really figure out his need to break rules. He is going to live life on his terms and by his rules..... and my guess is that means a future with a lot of jail time! So I am not involved at this point with solving any of this or finding him treatment and I am just going to continue to try and build a relationship with him and stay out of solving his problems. I will probably continue to try and encourage him to do the right things.... but I am more and more getting less invested in the outcome because like you said I have no control over him, what he does or what decisions he makes. It makes it really clear that we need to protect ourselves and our daughter. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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Getting some emotional distance....
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