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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Getting some emotional distance....
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 629873" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>TL, my daughter and your son are so much alike. Rules are stupid and don't apply to her either. She is always scheming to get away with something but in her case she seems to be able to stop short of going to jail. Well, so far anyway.</p><p></p><p>My therapist told me it will probably come to the point where husband and I will have to break off all contact. As others have said, you can't have a real relationship with an actively using addict.</p><p></p><p>Stress Bunny said this perfectly:</p><p></p><p></p><p>An addict is out for him/herself. Period. A family is only important because we love them enough that they can manipulate us. Who else would put up with their lies, stealing, and abuse?</p><p></p><p>I have pulled way back and am at the point where I can let her go. I've told my difficult child that I will be happy to have a relationship with a sober, functioning adult daughter but short of that, I am going to protect myself with solid boundaries.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 629873, member: 1967"] TL, my daughter and your son are so much alike. Rules are stupid and don't apply to her either. She is always scheming to get away with something but in her case she seems to be able to stop short of going to jail. Well, so far anyway. My therapist told me it will probably come to the point where husband and I will have to break off all contact. As others have said, you can't have a real relationship with an actively using addict. Stress Bunny said this perfectly: An addict is out for him/herself. Period. A family is only important because we love them enough that they can manipulate us. Who else would put up with their lies, stealing, and abuse? I have pulled way back and am at the point where I can let her go. I've told my difficult child that I will be happy to have a relationship with a sober, functioning adult daughter but short of that, I am going to protect myself with solid boundaries. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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Getting some emotional distance....
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