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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 78738" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: standswithcourage</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p></p><p>He gets bored and that is when he seeks out substance to relieve the boredom. </p><p></p><p></p><p></div></div></p><p></p><p>Stands, you need to think about what you would write to another mother looking for help, had she posted these words.</p><p></p><p>If you rationalize or excuse your son's drug use, you make it that much easier for him to rationalize it to himself.</p><p></p><p>And you make it that much harder for him to stop.</p><p></p><p>Did HE tell you he seeks out substance to relieve the boredom?</p><p></p><p>You could say the same sentence in the following way: he finds, buys and uses drugs to get high because that is the only thing that doesn't bore him.</p><p></p><p>All work is honorable (as our wise Pony posted once). Your son would find work if he had to. </p><p></p><p>You are making it very easy for him not to do that.</p><p></p><p>Stands, if I could go back and do one thing differently where my difficult child is concerned, it would be to wake up to what was happening to him sooner.</p><p></p><p>I might have been able to save him, then.</p><p></p><p>Instead, I lost my son, Stands.</p><p></p><p>Today, my son is still gone. A bright, gentle, attractive man did not come into the world, did not contribute all he might have, because I refused to see what was right in front of me to be seen. </p><p></p><p>You can save your son, Stands ~ twenty-four is late, but maybe not too late.</p><p></p><p>But time is passing.</p><p></p><p>Have you attended an Al-Anon or a Narc-Anon meeting?</p><p></p><p>Have you done any internet searches to learn about the physiology of addiction?</p><p></p><p>Whichever substance it is that your son finds most helpful in relieving his boredom ~ have you made it your business to learn what that substance is doing to his brain?</p><p></p><p>Drugs wring the good chemicals out of our brains like someone wringing liquid out of a sponge, Stands. With the good chemicals used up by the blow-it-all-at-once drug high, the brain of the drug abuser goes into a kind of depressed mode we can only imagine. Eventually, the same amount of the drug does not make him high anymore ~ it only relieves the feeling of jangling depression caused by the depletion of the good chemicals. </p><p></p><p>Addiction does not end well, Stands. </p><p></p><p>Never.</p><p></p><p>It will kill your son ~ if not immediately, then soon enough.</p><p></p><p>My son is thirty two now, Stands.</p><p></p><p>Do you have any idea what I would give to go back to the time I wasted when he was still only twenty-four?</p><p></p><p>Do some research, Stands. Whatever drug it is that your child chooses, research the nature of addiction to that set of chemicals.</p><p></p><p>Your boy is in trouble.</p><p></p><p>You may not be able to help him.</p><p></p><p>But if you are ever going to make a difference for him, you need to tell him the truth.</p><p></p><p>Your son needs to go into treatment.</p><p></p><p>Check out Teen Challenge and Hazelden on the internet, Stands.</p><p></p><p>Know that I wish your son well.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 78738, member: 1721"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: standswithcourage</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> He gets bored and that is when he seeks out substance to relieve the boredom. </div></div> Stands, you need to think about what you would write to another mother looking for help, had she posted these words. If you rationalize or excuse your son's drug use, you make it that much easier for him to rationalize it to himself. And you make it that much harder for him to stop. Did HE tell you he seeks out substance to relieve the boredom? You could say the same sentence in the following way: he finds, buys and uses drugs to get high because that is the only thing that doesn't bore him. All work is honorable (as our wise Pony posted once). Your son would find work if he had to. You are making it very easy for him not to do that. Stands, if I could go back and do one thing differently where my difficult child is concerned, it would be to wake up to what was happening to him sooner. I might have been able to save him, then. Instead, I lost my son, Stands. Today, my son is still gone. A bright, gentle, attractive man did not come into the world, did not contribute all he might have, because I refused to see what was right in front of me to be seen. You can save your son, Stands ~ twenty-four is late, but maybe not too late. But time is passing. Have you attended an Al-Anon or a Narc-Anon meeting? Have you done any internet searches to learn about the physiology of addiction? Whichever substance it is that your son finds most helpful in relieving his boredom ~ have you made it your business to learn what that substance is doing to his brain? Drugs wring the good chemicals out of our brains like someone wringing liquid out of a sponge, Stands. With the good chemicals used up by the blow-it-all-at-once drug high, the brain of the drug abuser goes into a kind of depressed mode we can only imagine. Eventually, the same amount of the drug does not make him high anymore ~ it only relieves the feeling of jangling depression caused by the depletion of the good chemicals. Addiction does not end well, Stands. Never. It will kill your son ~ if not immediately, then soon enough. My son is thirty two now, Stands. Do you have any idea what I would give to go back to the time I wasted when he was still only twenty-four? Do some research, Stands. Whatever drug it is that your child chooses, research the nature of addiction to that set of chemicals. Your boy is in trouble. You may not be able to help him. But if you are ever going to make a difference for him, you need to tell him the truth. Your son needs to go into treatment. Check out Teen Challenge and Hazelden on the internet, Stands. Know that I wish your son well. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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