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<blockquote data-quote="WhymeMom?" data-source="post: 79182" data-attributes="member: 53"><p>What helped me when we were going thru this similar thing was going to my husband and asking that he take over dealing with difficult child. I was the stay at home mom who dealt with the day to day "home, school" stuff with the kids and my husband worked many hours. Most of my sons antics happened when my husband was out of town on business. Anyway, for the longest time I tried to handle my son on my own and it just wasn't working. I decided I didn't have the strength to battle this on my own and I was also cheating my husband out of a meaningful relationship with his son. We decided to create a united front and whenever he asked for something or wanted to do something I said...."Ask your father." It got so that difficult child stopped asking me for things cause he knew he would have to go to dad anyway, so just go there first. He occasionally would ask, but I made it clear I would be talking with husband before any decision was made. It really gives time for considered decisions on doing anything.....He also tried that old trick of trying to divide and conquer...."Why can't you just make the decision MOM? Won't dad let you?" (Don't let yourself get pulled in to that.)</p><p></p><p>I have a practice test for you that I think really empowers some people from knee jerk reactions. The next time someone knocks on your door unexpectedly, don't answer. Or if you have a phone answering machine, don't pick it up when the phone rings. Let the answering machine get it. You decide if you feel like talking to whomever or answering the door.....Just because the doorbell or phone rings YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER. </p><p></p><p>I answer the phone and the door when I want to....simple yet very empowering. It also lets people know that if they really want to see me they should email......hah!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WhymeMom?, post: 79182, member: 53"] What helped me when we were going thru this similar thing was going to my husband and asking that he take over dealing with difficult child. I was the stay at home mom who dealt with the day to day "home, school" stuff with the kids and my husband worked many hours. Most of my sons antics happened when my husband was out of town on business. Anyway, for the longest time I tried to handle my son on my own and it just wasn't working. I decided I didn't have the strength to battle this on my own and I was also cheating my husband out of a meaningful relationship with his son. We decided to create a united front and whenever he asked for something or wanted to do something I said...."Ask your father." It got so that difficult child stopped asking me for things cause he knew he would have to go to dad anyway, so just go there first. He occasionally would ask, but I made it clear I would be talking with husband before any decision was made. It really gives time for considered decisions on doing anything.....He also tried that old trick of trying to divide and conquer...."Why can't you just make the decision MOM? Won't dad let you?" (Don't let yourself get pulled in to that.) I have a practice test for you that I think really empowers some people from knee jerk reactions. The next time someone knocks on your door unexpectedly, don't answer. Or if you have a phone answering machine, don't pick it up when the phone rings. Let the answering machine get it. You decide if you feel like talking to whomever or answering the door.....Just because the doorbell or phone rings YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER. I answer the phone and the door when I want to....simple yet very empowering. It also lets people know that if they really want to see me they should email......hah! [/QUOTE]
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