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Parent Emeritus
Getting sucked into the vortex
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 425494" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is a tough situation, and not one I have firsthand knowledge of. I do think that a contract with expected behaviors and consequences is crucial. You need Occupational Therapist (OT) be aware that it likely will not be possible for her to NOT manipulate. In past threads you have said she is a sociopath. If this is truly the case, you must face the fact that it is not SAFE for you to let her stay with you. Offer to take the baby so she can get on her feet. If she is truly a sociopath and thinks you will put her out she may hurt you so that she can have whatever money/things she thinks you have. You MUST be aware of this.</p><p></p><p>PLEASE speak to a therapist and even a social worker at children's services to find out your options. If you won't let her move in and she has no home, she may lose the baby. In that case you could get full custody of the baby and get some help with her and NOT ahve to have difficult child live with you. You must do what you can live with, but letting her move back in and expecting anything to be different is highly unrealistic, in my opinion. She will expect to revert to her past behavior and will not be willing to abide by any terms. Most difficult children, from what I have seen here, do NOT abide by contracts that they sign. Those are to pacify the parents so they can get what they want - free room and board - and then as soon as they move in they go to their old ways.</p><p> </p><p>PLEASE do not do this before you talk to a therapist and social worker iwth family services. PLEASE. I am very worried about what it will do to YOU to live iwth all that stress and anything she might do to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 425494, member: 1233"] This is a tough situation, and not one I have firsthand knowledge of. I do think that a contract with expected behaviors and consequences is crucial. You need Occupational Therapist (OT) be aware that it likely will not be possible for her to NOT manipulate. In past threads you have said she is a sociopath. If this is truly the case, you must face the fact that it is not SAFE for you to let her stay with you. Offer to take the baby so she can get on her feet. If she is truly a sociopath and thinks you will put her out she may hurt you so that she can have whatever money/things she thinks you have. You MUST be aware of this. PLEASE speak to a therapist and even a social worker at children's services to find out your options. If you won't let her move in and she has no home, she may lose the baby. In that case you could get full custody of the baby and get some help with her and NOT ahve to have difficult child live with you. You must do what you can live with, but letting her move back in and expecting anything to be different is highly unrealistic, in my opinion. She will expect to revert to her past behavior and will not be willing to abide by any terms. Most difficult children, from what I have seen here, do NOT abide by contracts that they sign. Those are to pacify the parents so they can get what they want - free room and board - and then as soon as they move in they go to their old ways. PLEASE do not do this before you talk to a therapist and social worker iwth family services. PLEASE. I am very worried about what it will do to YOU to live iwth all that stress and anything she might do to you. [/QUOTE]
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Getting sucked into the vortex
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