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Getting sucked into the vortex
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 425768" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>Well, I have been there done that and would I do it again - absolutely NOT. I would take the grandkids in a heartbeat for a while, even knowing the middle one is a full blown difficult child, while their mother got her act together, but having her in the mix, nope, nope, nope, no way. For the year she was here, it pretty much sealed the deal on our having a cool distant relationship. That year was just too much stress on me</p><p> </p><p>Mine will be 41, and its been a long succession of having a baby with each guy she has been with, in hopes of sealing a deal where she gets a nice house and doesn't have to work. Cept the guys have been total losers, first one a pot head and control freak, 2nd one a full blown addict threatening her and the kids life (this is the one she moved back home over), 3rd one is the 2nd ones neighbor she called to get together while on hiatis from the 2nd one, and seems to me to be totally uncommitted other than having her as a live in baby sitter for HIS three kids</p><p> </p><p>In hindsight, its all about the drama, she has to have it swirling around her if there is a lack of it,creating some, the plotting and planning with each new partner to secure herself and each child, cept it never really works out. And if things start tanking with the current one, it won't be long before she starts weaving a web for lucky guy #4 thats in her circle of friends, or friends of friends. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I was a difficult child in my teens when I had her - 3,000 miles away from any family - and I survived on my own. Nowadays, there is so much help out there if you take the time to look for it. Section 8 housing, food stamps, medi-care, shelters, different kinds of work programs. If you don't get along, and just the idea of her and the lifestyle makes you so angry you want to claw at your face, in my humble opinion, don't go there and let her move back in. Contracts with your difficult children are like restraining orders with your X's - most times they are gonna be broken</p><p> </p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 425768, member: 47"] Well, I have been there done that and would I do it again - absolutely NOT. I would take the grandkids in a heartbeat for a while, even knowing the middle one is a full blown difficult child, while their mother got her act together, but having her in the mix, nope, nope, nope, no way. For the year she was here, it pretty much sealed the deal on our having a cool distant relationship. That year was just too much stress on me Mine will be 41, and its been a long succession of having a baby with each guy she has been with, in hopes of sealing a deal where she gets a nice house and doesn't have to work. Cept the guys have been total losers, first one a pot head and control freak, 2nd one a full blown addict threatening her and the kids life (this is the one she moved back home over), 3rd one is the 2nd ones neighbor she called to get together while on hiatis from the 2nd one, and seems to me to be totally uncommitted other than having her as a live in baby sitter for HIS three kids In hindsight, its all about the drama, she has to have it swirling around her if there is a lack of it,creating some, the plotting and planning with each new partner to secure herself and each child, cept it never really works out. And if things start tanking with the current one, it won't be long before she starts weaving a web for lucky guy #4 thats in her circle of friends, or friends of friends. I was a difficult child in my teens when I had her - 3,000 miles away from any family - and I survived on my own. Nowadays, there is so much help out there if you take the time to look for it. Section 8 housing, food stamps, medi-care, shelters, different kinds of work programs. If you don't get along, and just the idea of her and the lifestyle makes you so angry you want to claw at your face, in my humble opinion, don't go there and let her move back in. Contracts with your difficult children are like restraining orders with your X's - most times they are gonna be broken Marcie [/QUOTE]
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