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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 747388" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I would feel sad and hurt, too. Even though I think being closer to work is something that has nothing to do with you. Think about it.</p><p></p><p>People go to work 5 days a week, back and forth. If both of them work, that's maybe up to 10 trips a week. I would guess they do not drive to your house 5 days a week. Once a week, maybe. </p><p></p><p>Kids are different. I don't think it enters their consciousness to think about how this would affect you, especially 5 or 10 years down the road. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like you really want to help them. There is no way that I can think of that you can bring this up without causing conflict. It would be as if you would be trying to control them. or making your help contingent upon their meeting your needs, or satisfying your priorities. I believe this would blow up in your face.</p><p></p><p>In deciding whether to give the money I would only give it if I could do so freely, with a loving heart, and without expectations or resentments. They deserve to make their own choices about their lives and their priorities. </p><p></p><p>As I think about it more, maybe a wonderful and generous house-warming gift would be better. That way you would not be entering into the actual buying of the place. I don't know how much money you are thinking of, but maybe even something like carpets, if they need them, or landscaping, or professional painting, or washer and dryer or fridge and stove. I think this is what I might think of doing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 747388, member: 18958"] I would feel sad and hurt, too. Even though I think being closer to work is something that has nothing to do with you. Think about it. People go to work 5 days a week, back and forth. If both of them work, that's maybe up to 10 trips a week. I would guess they do not drive to your house 5 days a week. Once a week, maybe. Kids are different. I don't think it enters their consciousness to think about how this would affect you, especially 5 or 10 years down the road. It sounds like you really want to help them. There is no way that I can think of that you can bring this up without causing conflict. It would be as if you would be trying to control them. or making your help contingent upon their meeting your needs, or satisfying your priorities. I believe this would blow up in your face. In deciding whether to give the money I would only give it if I could do so freely, with a loving heart, and without expectations or resentments. They deserve to make their own choices about their lives and their priorities. As I think about it more, maybe a wonderful and generous house-warming gift would be better. That way you would not be entering into the actual buying of the place. I don't know how much money you are thinking of, but maybe even something like carpets, if they need them, or landscaping, or professional painting, or washer and dryer or fridge and stove. I think this is what I might think of doing. [/QUOTE]
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