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General Parenting
Giving choices is hard for my difficult child - I need advice...
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<blockquote data-quote="laurensmyprincess" data-source="post: 166901" data-attributes="member: 2898"><p>Hi all,</p><p></p><p>My daughter has a hard time making a decision when given choices. I know that usually giving choices can result in positive things like the child feeling more in control. With my daughter, it is almost like she wants to do it all and is so conflicted with what to do. (Let me just preface this by saying that we ONLY give her two choices to choose from for any situation, not more). </p><p></p><p>For example, I posted a week or so ago about how she has been refusing to go to school. Well we have been transitioning back, but today for example, I brought her to school and she absolutely refused to let go of me and refused to go into her classroom. </p><p></p><p>The EA that has been working with us this week and I were trying to reason, coax, etc her to go with the EA (who she has gone willingly with for two days). </p><p></p><p>Anyway, the EA then said to her that she had to bring another student up to her class and she was going to take the elevator and asked my daughter if she wanted to come and be her special helper and push the button in the elevator. Well, you could see that my daughter thought that was a great idea and she WANTED to go, but she would not let go of me. I told her that I could not go, but she should go with her teacher. </p><p></p><p>Well, this went on for about 10 minutes and at the end, the teacher had to go (we warned daughter that the teacher would need to go if daughter could not make up her mind). Well, that resulted in a SERIOUS meltdown after she left. She wanted so badly to go with her, I could totally see it. But, yet she could not leave me and was so conflicted and could not actually act on what she wanted to do, that it turned into a huge rage. </p><p></p><p>Can anyone offer any advice or strategies on how to deal with this sort of thing? Honestly, for my daughter, giving her options and choices is often not a good thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="laurensmyprincess, post: 166901, member: 2898"] Hi all, My daughter has a hard time making a decision when given choices. I know that usually giving choices can result in positive things like the child feeling more in control. With my daughter, it is almost like she wants to do it all and is so conflicted with what to do. (Let me just preface this by saying that we ONLY give her two choices to choose from for any situation, not more). For example, I posted a week or so ago about how she has been refusing to go to school. Well we have been transitioning back, but today for example, I brought her to school and she absolutely refused to let go of me and refused to go into her classroom. The EA that has been working with us this week and I were trying to reason, coax, etc her to go with the EA (who she has gone willingly with for two days). Anyway, the EA then said to her that she had to bring another student up to her class and she was going to take the elevator and asked my daughter if she wanted to come and be her special helper and push the button in the elevator. Well, you could see that my daughter thought that was a great idea and she WANTED to go, but she would not let go of me. I told her that I could not go, but she should go with her teacher. Well, this went on for about 10 minutes and at the end, the teacher had to go (we warned daughter that the teacher would need to go if daughter could not make up her mind). Well, that resulted in a SERIOUS meltdown after she left. She wanted so badly to go with her, I could totally see it. But, yet she could not leave me and was so conflicted and could not actually act on what she wanted to do, that it turned into a huge rage. Can anyone offer any advice or strategies on how to deal with this sort of thing? Honestly, for my daughter, giving her options and choices is often not a good thing. [/QUOTE]
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Giving choices is hard for my difficult child - I need advice...
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